Don't Stay;; Justyn.

[Paint]

Rose looked at him warily, but it wasn't because she was scared of him flipping out and attacking her or something. She'd always been wary when others in her pack stopped being vicious and started seeing eye-to-eye. Bit of a neverending circle really, but she didn't let too much wariness show in her eyes. Mostly it was because her guard was slowly slipping down and she didn't like it.

"Still, I can empathise with your mother with that one," Rose sighed. She did not wait for him to flip out, instead looking at him genuinely. "Hear me out. If Raiden-" she flinched, having not said his name out loud for a year without bursting into hysterics. "-and I had been running our pack, and he'd fallen sick the way your father did... I can't say I would've stop loving him. I would've done everything in my power to protect those I loved, if that meant lying to my pups I would've done it. Love makes you go crazy, it takes away all of your proper judgement because all you can try to do is do well for those you want to help." She frowned, and listened to him as he spoke. Diseased. That sounded about right.

"It's not diseased, that's not how I'd describe it," she contradicted, voice full of the intelligent tone it always carried when she was just being herself. "It's more... disconnected. Like you do something and don't remember telling your body to do it. Like you're watching yourself make mistake after mistake and you can't seem to stop yourself." she shrugged. "That's how I feel sometimes," she looked him in the eyes again. This was... wierd.

[[Midnight]]

"I knew from the moment we started speaking that you would be the type to lie to your pups. As if lies made all the bad in the world go away, right?"

He snorted, the same kind of snort that he had used to get her attention earlier. But this time he didn't look irritated, he almost looked... Intrigued.

Love. He had never had the chance to love in his short lifetime, since he was too busy learning how to take care of himself. He was barely out of puphood, and he was one of the strongest in his pack because he harnested his rage into hurting others. He didn't think he could ever forgive his father for killing his mother, but maybe someday he'd find it in his heart to at least understand why his mother did what she did. No matter how wrong Justyn felt it was.

"Love versus greed. The two biggest killers on the planet," he mused out loud, looking up at a random white cloud. The uprising Dancing Stars would be full of love-suckers, while Justyn was living in the very epitome of greed - Falling Moon. "I wonder who will win? I wonder who is more diseased."

Speaking of diseases again, he remembered Rose's description of the sickness that had taken over most of the wolves in the valley. It sounded familiar, but not tooth-for-tooth to his opinion. Seeing the reflection of his own eyes in hers, he got lost into deep thought, comparing his disease to her disease.

"I wonder if there is a cure for heart disease. Where you're unable to love but unable to forget, just stuck in the middle of nowhere," he breathed quietly, his brows furrowing a bit.

He realized the conversation had settled down a bit, or at least, it had for him. Rose was probably still angry beyond belief, but the shouting had died down. Justyn found himself in a mood for a different kind of arguing now.

[Paint]

Rose smiled, just slightly, as he spoke again.
"Lies don't make the bad go away forever, but they can make it go away for long enough if you're good at it," Rose continued to smile slightly. She'd always been good at lying, probably a trait of the family. She tilted her head to one side to listen to him.

"There's no love without greed and no greed without love." she laughed, but it wasn't hollow like before. "You're greedy to have the ones you love, and you love to have the things you're greedy for. So it's a pretty even fight in my opinion."

Rose shook her head slowly, disagreeing with him on his last solemn point.
"Nothing lasts forever," she reminded him. "You may be backed into a corner now, fuelled by anger and hatred but that crazy little thing called love will find you," she smiled slightly, knowingly. "When you least expect it, love will find you and screw things up for you on a totally new level. Then you'll see me, Justyn, on the sidelines with a small smile."

She laughed again lightly, ending slightly more sadly as she looked down, taking her eyes away from his. She'd already had that, that complete loss of self-control that love gave you. She doubted she'd ever be lucky enough to get it again.

[[Midnight]]

Justyn suddenly felt young. For the longest time, he had been fighting to stay strong and on top of everyone except Duke, playing the role of an experienced adult who wasn't afraid to kill someone else to live on. He probably could have passed for a four-year old just by his facial expression. That had been his new life, but this conversation with Rose was starting to get to him in ways he never thought he could be touched.

His face wasn't hard like usual, and he perked his ears forward. This female had beaten him in every argument, and he knew it.

"...Why didn't your father make you Beta instead of me? You'd talk your way out of war if you wanted to."

He smirked, glad that he had gone to investigate the noise of an approaching wolf. Otherwise he never would have had this chat with Rose, and wouldn't be feeling as calm as he did now.
The rage was still there inside of him, but it wasn't consuming him.

"You can trust me, you know. You might be a liar, but I'm not. Everything I've said is true. I won't tell your father or anyone what you've told me."
He narrowed his hazel eyes, lifting his chin.
"But you shouldn't let Duke be the death of you. I think you should take over as Alpha and lead Falling Moon to something better than just the prospect of more territory. It'd be a shame to see you die."

[Paint]

Of all the compliments Rose had ever received -and there were a fair few considering her looks and charm- this was the first one that had really hit home. Talk her way out of war? Definitely possible, and she laughed.

"I'm not strong enough for Beta," she reminded him with a small smile. She was not weak, but she was lacking in muscle compared to the other packmembers. "And what did I tell you earlier? I may not be the Alpha on the outside but I am underneath it all. My father literally cannot function without some sort of female comfort and guidance. It's not exactly a weakness- a lot of males have it."

She smiled coyly, laughing a little to herself. Watching Justyn with his walls crashed down as well was so interesting. There was heart in there, she'd guessed it right.

"You keep saying that he's going to kill me. Have you not met me?" she shook her head, smiling still as if in disbelief. "I could talk death itself out of claiming me." she pretended to boast, but her tone was definitely joking. "Everyone has their own way of surving. Some-" she looked at him pointedly. "-fight their way to the top, letting anger be their guide. Some use love and hope and peace. And then there's the occasional one, like me, who uses their head to stay on top. Not as much glory, maybe, but still very satisfying when it all comes down to it."

[[Midnight]]

Falling Moon may have been all about muscle, but sometimes brains were better. If Rose and Duke ruled together as a father and daughter team, they'd be unstoppable. Cayden might possibly get to learn that pride gets you nowhere in the game of life.

He tilted his head downwards, but his eyes stayed curiously on hers, not reflecting the same humor she was showing him.
"You are the one that broke down in front of me and told me that you are the one keeping your father alive. You and Tallulah. You hide your pain from him so that he can breathe. Think you can handle that for any longer?"

As soon as the question came out of his mouth, he felt stupid. Of course Rose could handle it. She had been holding up to it so far, so what would another liftetime do to her?
It could do anything, he thought darkly, imagining Rose suddenly caving into the pain and dying from a tumor or maybe even killing herself.

[Paint]

She stared at him, all humour gone from her voice. He was obviously doubting her and she didn't like it. Her eyes narrowed, not in a hating way displayed earlier but simply out of irritation.

"Justyn," she began, looking his straight in the eyes without fear. "I can handle being anyone I need to be for as long as I'm needed. Don't tell me I'm not being someone specific for you now- I just realised that the only way you would appreciate me and accept me was if I was my true self. Breaking down was the only way to show you, so I did it."

"I will be fine holding onto that burden, being that needed by my father and this pack, for as long as he lives. As soon as he dies, or the pack falls apart- that's when I'll fall apart." her tone was so serious, matter-of-fact and yet so sad with the knowledge. "As soon as I'm not needed to be someone specific, I won't know who to be, that's when I'll get lost. And I don't know if, after all of that, I'll want to find my way back." The words were solemn, but heavy with the truth. It was something she'd realised a long time ago. She was only an actress as long as she had an audience. Beyond it- there was nothing for her.

[[Midnight]]

As soon as Duke dies. Or the pack falls apart.
When Justyn heard the words ring in his ears, his eyes glazed over. He hadn't really thought about it before, but if Duke was to die, Justyn would currently be the best bet for taking over the pack, since Rose would die with her father. He had never planned on being a leader, just a bully.

What would he do with his Alpha powers? His face became rigid with pain and anger, since he knew the answer already.
He wouldn't do anything. Falling Moon would disintegrate. And once the pack started to fall apart, Justyn would go down with it. He has nothing to live for, no more family, no more ambitions.

"...I feel the same way. Dancing Stars is dead to me; they have a new leader now, and my father's supposed 'noble' bloodline will die with me. It feels like the earthquake has taken more than just everyone's families..."

He looked away bitterly, his lips curling up in a silent snarl.
If his mother were still alive, he knew that she would still be trying to pick up the pieces of the old pack, bringing in survivors and nursing them back to their old spirits. The thought only made Justyn shake his head in disbelief; Empyrean Valley was long gone. There would be no point in trying to bring it back like old times.

As he stared at the branches of an uprooted tree, Justyn considered the possibility of leaving the valley. Why hadn't he just done that to begin with? He could have walked away from it all, and maybe it would have helped to ease the pain.
Something was holding him back from leaving the past behind, but the black and brown wolf couldn't pinpoint it exactly. Rose was right - he didn't want to let go of the past. Not that he could if he wanted to, he knew for a fact.

"...As soon as I'm not needed to be someone specific, I won't know who to be, that's when I'll get lost..."

He shot his head back to her, his hairy muzzle pointing further up than he usually ever let it go.
"What if you had a role that lasted forever? One that detatched you from your father and helped you to find yourself."

He looked authoritive, with his ears pointed straight up and his broad shoulders not at all hunched. It was hard for Justyn to lose at anything, that was obvious, and he wasn't about to give in to another one of Rose's arguments. He was determined now to keep her alive even if she was desperate to death - just to prove that it was possible.

[Paint]

Rose could sense this defiance in Justyn, could see the conflict hidden behind his eyes as he looked around. The defiance, she couldn't decide- partly it made him look like he actually wanted to step up and take over. But the way he was arguing made him sound as if he were a pup trying to prove a point. Rose wasn't sure which side to take.

"Life goes on," Rose said solemnly when he spoke about the earthquake. "No matter how much you want life to just stop so it can give you a chance to catch up and stop hurting, everything carries on moving around you- that's how we're are forced to move on."

She heard the authority in his voice, but this defiant want to win an argument was not winning her over at all. She wasn't going to soften up and give in just because he wanted to prove a point.
"Nothing lasts forever." she said sharply. "Detaching myself from my father would only make things worse, believe me. I rely on him equally as much as he relies on me." she tilted her head to one side and sighed.

"Answer me this, Justyn. You sound like you're trying to shield me from death and yet you claim you'll never care for anyone. You can't have it both ways; either you have care in your heart or you don't. Which is it?" she asked, already knowing the answer but wondering how he would phrase it.

[[Midnight]]

Truth was, he didn't know why he was so determined to have Rose alive. Maybe it's because he hated hearing her say she was keeping herself alive basically for Duke, because when he died, she died. And that sickened him, because it reminded him somewhat of his mother's old situation; except that she had no choice as to whether or not she would die. She had to stay alive. Even if her true self would die with Caerwyn.

Ugh. It was the first time he had thought directly of his father's name, and it made him cringe. A bad taste in his mouth.

He didn't know how to answer Rose's question. He knew now he would probably never be able to hate Rose anymore, at least not hate her to the point of not at all caring. She was still really annoying, but the truth was, they could relate to one another, on a strange, unfathomable level. They were opposites of each other and yet, at the same time, they weren't.

"The fact that I was, and still am, so deeply affected by my childhood, just screams one thing: I do care." He tried to choose his words carefully, to give him dignity, but it was hard to explain how he really felt in the first place.
"I don't care for anyone besides myself right now. But that's only because I'm angry and confused, and I have no more family or friends or anyone to care about. I will continue to be angry and confused until I can find something in my life to live for. Unlike you, I have nothing right now. No one depending on me. I don't even have an act to role play."

But his eyes looked concerned, sincerely and genuinely puzzled, as he looked at her.
"Still, even though I do still have a heart, somewhere inside of me, I don't feel guilty when I look at you. I don't feel anything stir inside of me as I'm living day by day in Falling Moon, or for talking to the daughter of the wolf who killed my grandfather and drove my pack to its downfall. You should be my sworm enemy, Rose, but I don't feel hatred when I look at you. So can we really say that I have a heart after I disowned my family, calling them all traitors and liars and weaklings, when I'm the one who's betraying them?"

[Paint]

Rose listened to him as he made his speech, letting him spill his feelings out to her because sometimes you only needed one wolf to make it better. A lifeline to keep you afloat when everything else was dragging you down. She tilted her head, listening intently. Finally he seemed to stop, questioning her again. When would he learn that she had an answer for everything?

"It's easy to call names at those who are long since dead." Rose sighed. She knew it herself, she'd done it before. "But honestly, Justyn, you're pissed off with your father for being diseased and your mother for loving him despite that, for loving you enough to try and protect you- with or without lies."

"Why are you still picking on them now? They're dead, okay, all of them." she said. Her words were harsh and brittle but true. If she couldn't be truthful with Justyn now, she'd just walk away and ignore him. If he chose to listen, maybe he'd understand. Maybe she could sap some of that anger out. "If you ran into one of your long-lost family members now, do you really think you'd have it in you to start namecalling them? To tear them down because your parents were a little screwed up? Because you thought an earthquake had destroyed everyone, do you think you'd ruin that only reunion with your long-lost family member?"

"You made a choice, Justyn." she sighed as she said it. Life was full of choices you didn't want to have to make. "You made the choice to survive- so many others do. But I think if you ever met one of your family members again -mother and father aside- you would not have it in you to harm a hair on their pelt." She stared at him with her big, dark eyes, willing him to see her way of thinking.

"Right now, Justyn, I'm giving you a role to play. When you're around my father and the other Falling Moons, be angry. Be vicious and strong. When you're around me, show me the real you like I show you the real me. Don't leave me alone now that you're with me." her words should have sounded pleading, but they did not. They sounded like she was offering him something and wondering if he'd accept.

[[Midnight]]

Hearing her put his life onto the table like that made him realize just how messed up in the head he really was. He was suddenly ten times more grateful to be talking to Rose right now, since she had this amazing ability to put someone's entire life into a perspective they could grasp. Justyn wasn't a kid anymore, didn't think like a kid, but his mind hadn't developed like it should have. He just wasn't sure he could get around that sick problem now - he was diseased, like they had talked about. Rose might not want to call it that, but he would.

Part of him wanted to pull away from getting too attatched to Rose in any way. He knew what she was like, what she was capable of. She could be seriously messing with his head right now and he wouldn't even be able to tell.

Looking at her slightly harshly, he studied her face for a long moment before he spoke to her.
"How do I know this isn't all an act right now? A role to play to humor me?" he asked seriously, searching her for any sign of a lie.

If Rose admitted to pulling his hamstrings, he couldn't say he'd be able to wade out of the marshes without a broken ego. Of course, he wasn't sure if either of them would be leaving this place at all. He'd probably end up losing it in an spit of rage, and they would take each other out.

[Paint]

Rose saw the recognition on his face and found it rather painful to endure. This was strange. Usually only her father's pain made her uncomfortable, made her want to fix it; but this was pain she'd caused just by trying to be truthful, trying to help. It clung to her as she watched him, her expression blank.

Then he said something she'd been expecting he'd say for quite a while now. Could he actually trust her? Was this all just an act to stop him from fighting her, to make him do what she wanted? She set her face very fiercely.

"I have not shown anyone what I am truly feeling in over a year, and this is the thanks I get?" she stared him straight in the eye. "Figures. I guess when you lie all the time people stop believing you fullstop. I don't know what I could tell you right now to convince you this is the real me." She frowned, still looking at him straight in the eyes.

She stood up slowly, letting the water leave a muddy rim around her where she'd been sitting. She'd forgotten that, usually so aware of how she looked it surprised her. She sighed and finally looked away.
"If you want me to leave, stop telling you what I think and feel then I will. I understand if it's too hard to trust me." she said, words completely truthful. She understood; he hadn't accepted the lifeline she'd thrown to him, and in the end she figured she deserved it anyway.

[[Midnight]]

Although it wasn't the reaction he would have had thirty minutes ago, Justyn felt a panic rising from his toes and tightening in his stomach. Without his consent, his body moved carelessly through the water, splashing it onto his black legs and his white chest, staining his fur like Rose's.
When he realized what he was doing, he stopped in his footsteps, having closed most of the gap between the two of them.

He hadn't at all meant to bruise her feelings, but he needed to protect himself. If he was going to let someone inside of his shell, he needed to be able to trust that wolf. He was already messed up enough, didn't Rose understand that?

"No, wait," he said quickly, his eyes full of apologies and concern. "Don't. Don't go. You have understand why I said that."

He wasn't about to say, it's because I've been lied to all my life. He was over that shindig, he didn't need to prove anything more to her.

Instead, he continued on a completley different level.
"Don't leave me now that you're with me," he echoed. "I'm a coward. I'm afraid of losing anything else that I care about. That's why I asked you that question. It's not that I don't trust you, but that I want to hear what you think and feel."

He was saying that accepted her offer, her lifeline.

[Paint]

Rose turned back and was surprised to find him so much closer suddenly. She'd been so intent on hearing his words, his sorry but I don't trust liars she hadn't heard the water splash as he moved forward. She froze, aware of the close proximity and how strange it was.

"Justyn," she began, but had to gather her thoughts to reassess what he'd just said to her. She frowned, and collected her thoughts instantaneously. "I won't go away. If you need me to be around and be myself around you, then I can be that," she said, the words full of the undertones she'd explained earlier; As soon as I'm not needed to be someone specific, I won't know who to be, that's when I'll get lost.

"This pack is so twisted that allies and friends are very rare. Have you noticed how every wolf in this pack seems to find it hard to trust in or care for other wolves?" she asked, sadly. Sometimes she felt like she was only wolf who really felt in this pack- thank god she'd managed to pull Justyn out of the dark. "At least we can trust each other, right?" she smiled very, very slightly this time, as if testing the waters around the lifeline they had strung between them.