Don't Stay;; Justyn.

[[Midnight]]

Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
What you were changing me into
Just give me myself back and
Don’t stay
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
Take all your faithlessness with you
Just give me myself back and
Don’t stay

Knee-deep in muddy water, Justyn flushed a paw out of the suction of the marsh's bottom. Every once in a while, a stick would poke his feet and make him slow down his pace to nothing more than a relaxed walk, but in moments he'd be trailing through the thick water with full force. He was getting ready to head out of the nasty marsh, bored with the dirty environment. There was nothing but snakes and spiders here, no wolves or animals to prey on. Birds were scarce, too, just a couple of eagles every now and then.


[/center]Sometimes I feel like I trusted you too well
Sometimes I just feel like screaming at myself
Sometimes I’m in disbelief I didn’t know
Somehow I need to be alone[/size]

With eyes as blank as the blue sky above him, the yearling seemed to carry himself with a defiant gait, but with his head low, as if he was stalking something in the distance. It was obvious that this wolf wasn't friendly just by a quick glance at his stature. But what was most chilling about this wolf was the glint inside of his dull hazel eyes, never seeming to go away. Justyn was not a wolf to be messed with, even if he was young.

I don’t need you anymore, I don’t want to be ignored
I don’t need one more day of you wasting me away
I don’t need you anymore, I don’t want to be ignored
I don’t need one more day of you wasting me away

With no apologies

The air was hot and lazy that day, as Justyn pulled himself onto a dead log and looked around the bog. Nothing was stirring. Looks like he might not get any action here; maybe he should give a visit to some other place in Falling Moon.

[Paint]

Rose very rarely came to the marshland. She was vain enough that she did not wish her pale pelt to be dirtied by the disgusting waters. Still, everywhere else she went she was met by some kind of annoying distraction. Her father, silent and solemn, pacing between the clearing and the den. Birds, twittering like idiots when she walked in the forest. A herd of caribou she scared silly in the heathland.

So she'd kept walking, praying for some kind of quiet. And the marshland was definitely quiet enough for her- the hot hazy summer air had sent the bugs humming but it wasn't insulting to her ears like everything else was.

She smiled to herself at her own little adventure; only she could make such a chore out of being alone. And for what reason? So she could think even more about the pack, and the new lands, the new faces? She refused to think, though, of the mental torment her past held. It was new, or nothing. She paused as her feet sunk into the marshy water, still smiling to herself like a crazy wolf.

[[Midnight]]

Hearing the sound in the distance, Justyn's ears wavered and his eyes searched for the creature that had just entered the waters of the marsh. He couldn't see around some gnarled twigs of dead trees, so he took a moment to hop off of his log and into the mud, striding in Rose's direction.

When he rounded an obscuring tree, he stopped in his tracks to watch Rose.

She looked pleased with herself, and he couldn't imagine why. This wasn't at all her kind of territory, since it was muddy and gross and vacant.
Well, she was a brat, so she was probably just thinking smugly about how beautiful of a princess she was. He snorted irritably to catch her attention, feeling a contentious spirit coming upon him.

[Paint]

Rose looked up and the irritation was suddenly clear and venomous on her features. Justyn, the self-righteous ever-hating Beta of the pack was coughing at her. Ruining her peace and perfectual solitude. She very nearly lifted her black lips over her teeth, snarled at him and turned away again.

Still, this pack was everything she was working for. She'd so perfected the art of being whoever the other wolf wanted her to be, it was her natural reaction to be it. To act flawlessly and without doubt. Already, she was mentally tabbing Justyn's personality, what she knew of him and him of her. If he hated everything, what would he hate least about her that she could bring out?

"Irritable, are we, Justyn?" she asked, using the voice she usually reserved for flirting -on the rare occasion she did. She was very good at getting what she wanted, flirting shamelessly sometimes and yet managing to keep the casual elegance up. She tilted her head slightly to one side, smiling as if she knew something he didn't. Let the annoying pup make what he would of that.

[[Midnight]]

The flirting tone she used was disgusting to his ears, but he was really just disappointed that she obviously didn't feel like arguing today. Then again, Rose was known to have her own style of verbal fights - charm her way above any stupid flea-bitten mongrel and make an idiot out of his weakness. Too bad Justyn was familiar with her people-pleaser type. Sounded a lot like his back-stabbing softy of a mother.

"Quit the act, Rose. You hate me, I hate you, let's just be dignified about it," he responded in a bored tone, flicking his head to the side a bit.
Rose might be annoying, but out of all the Falling Moon wolves, she was probably the smartest one to be found. Maybe that's why he decided to avoid the arguement he had just been craving moments before.
The sly smile on her face didn't really do anything to him except make him frown deeper.
"A princess shouldn't smirk like that."

[Paint]

Had Rose actually been flirting genuinely, had she been a loner or a soft Stars wolf, Justyn's tone would've shocked her and probably hurt her. But, she was a Moons wolf and she'd grown up with these bastards.

It was rare, however, that any wolf saw straight through her acting. Obviously she'd picked the wrong role to play. Her lips did curl for a moment, as she narrowed her cold dark eyes on him, judging how to reply. It didn't take long, after all her brain worked so much quicker than a lot of Moons wolves as far as she knew.

"I don't hate you, Justyn. I can't doubt you hating me, though," Rose said drily, keeping her expression plain and cold. If he wanted the Ice Princess, he'd damn well get it. "It really does get boring, though, running a pack of hateful, vicious dogs."

She shifted her position only slightly, her feet were sinking further into the water. She found some harder ground beneath the murky water and continued.
"Don't pretend for a minute that you or my father runs this pack," she laughed, the sound hollow as if the idea was ridiculous. "This pack is entirely my creation. If it weren't for me, my father would've been content to keep you scurrying behind him, always running from the memories you both can't repress."

Her verbal lashing should've been enough. He'd probably attack her now, she knew that. If he was any kind of smart, he wouldn't- she could fight back, or even run as she was probably faster than him with his big bulky muscles. Either that or she'd get her father after him. She could just bring up the memories he hated so much, too. She knew he was dangerous with his fighting skills but she was dangerous in a lot of other ways. Her gaze remained detached, unfriendly and completely unafraid.

[[Midnight]]

Rose creating Falling Moon. Rose leading/ running Falling Moon. Which one was more laughable? Coc kiness was dangerous, Rose had better watch her mouth her she might find her nose being bitten off.
It looked like he'd get to have a heated discussion after all. He smiled, blinking away his anger.

"So lovely Rose doesn't want to be a Princess anymore, she wants to be the Queen Bee. That sounds about right, huh?" he replied cooly, looking the female up and down as an act to make her feel uncomfortable. Maybe she liked a male who had dirty mind, and since she seemed so eager to please his appetite for harsh words, he could appease her style.

He didn't ignore the jab about his past. In fact, although it didn't show on the outside, he was burning with anger on the inside.

"Mm, not hard to imagine you as a mother," he said, his eyes still washing over her. "So what's it like, Rose? The nightmares, I mean. I'm sure you picture their faces every night."

His face was hard and cold, and he was no longer messing around. It hadn't yet been a year since the earthquakes, and Rose was going to use that to her advantage? Well, people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, should they?

[Paint]

Growing up in Falling Moon was an advantage Rose had that Justyn didn't. Sure, he was hate-filled and angry now- but he had no idea how thick skinned you had to be to survive a pack of backstabbers like this. Her expression remained cool as he made fun of her.

"It's not about being Queen Bee," she laughed without humour, the sound like claws across ice. "It's about who's the head and who's the neck. Duke's the head, he's the big showdog who runs the place. I'm the neck, I turn him whichever way I please. At least he's not ignorant enough to know that."

She narrowed her near black eyes at him as he spoke of her nightmares. Everyone heard her screaming, she knew that. Nobody was stupid enough to bring it up, though.
"Nightmares are nothing on reality," she hissed. "I scream because I see their faces, yes, but I know you're screaming internally right now. I'm content to stand here and talk about what I've lost, I'm strong enough for that."

"You," she addressed him darkly and venomously. "You think you can survive because you're fuelled with anger from your sick dog of a father and your lying bitch of a mother. From the fact that the Stars are supposed to be the good guys and how they're just as bad as us Moons- how you had a first hand account of that. So you stalk around with anger in your veins and a twisted view of others because of your stupid, stupid parents because it's easier than doing the strong thing, accepting your loss and moving the hell on. So who's the masochistic one here, Justyn?" she spat.

The marsh had gone very quiet now that the two wolves were discussing so viciously.

[[Midnight]]

His legs began to shake and wobble - not with fear, but with pure fury. He almost wanted to believe that everything she had said was right, but it wasn't. She had no idea what he was really thinking day by day. He felt stronger than ever right now, and just because he was a different wolf because of what happened, it didn't have to mean that he was running away from anything. The fact was, he did face what had happened. And from coming to terms with the truth of the tragic sob-story of his life, he had decided to use his new anger to his own advantage.

He took a moment to answer her, lowering his head and taking a few threatening steps towards her.

"You are something else, Rose," he started, his voice raw with emotion. "You're wallowing in your own pride because you think you're right about everything. That just because you know how to move on in life makes you a better person."
He growled in a low tone, quiet but sinister. "You're so perverted that you take advantage of your own father to get what you want in life, even if he's even more heartless than you are. It's wolves like you that I truly hate more than anything in the world. Duke has got nothing on you, Rose, it's true. Maybe you are the true leader of Falling Moon."

He knew his argument was one-sided, but maybe someday she'd look back on what he was trying to say and she'd understand what he meant. That she was a sick bastard who thought she could rule the world by lying to everyone she met. In that case, her pups were probably lucky to be dead than to be raised by her. They'd end up just like Justyn was now.

"You just don't know me, Rose. I can't get off of the ground and walk away from my past, because the past is what has helped to create who I am today. You might be able to forget about your bundles of joy so easily, and lucky you for that, I sure do wish I was you. 'Congratulations Rose, the creator of the pack full of sick masochistic brutes.' Aren't you so proud of what you rule over?"

[Paint]

Rose was very rarely silent when arguing. She simply stared, blank expression, at Justyn as he spat his hatred at her. She took it all in, wave after wave of hatred and emotion. Of course she was screwed up, what did he expect? He had it easy, rolling in here with a heart full of anger and stomping around picking fights. She was the one who had lived through half a year of agony, had a few brief months of happiness and then had it all taken away from her.

He wasn't the only one shaking with anger now.

"Of course I don't know you, Justyn, you don't want anyone to know you," she spat between clenched teeth. She ignored his threatening steps towards her, staring at him with fire in her eyes. "But don't act like you know me too. Don't call me perverted for knowing how to manipulate my father- he was the one who taught me how to manipulate him. The only reason he is still breathing right now is because he wants me and Tallulah to be happy. If it weren't for us, he would've long since jumped off a cliff. I am so perfectly aware of that it's like having someone's jaws round my throat."

"So, I lie? So what?" she laughed hollowly again, not one hint of humour in the dark sound. "I lie to my father because if I'm not happy, he's not happy. I have to lie to everyone else to try and keep them happy, so they won't go running back to my father and tell him I'm not happy. I have been happy once in my life, Justyn, the briefest period of time. My father literally drove my mate away from me. I had to break both their hearts in one go to stop them from killing each other."

She shook her head, hating to say it all out loud but knowing it was the only way Justyn might appreciate the way she acted.
"Then, by some miracle, he took me back. They both did. We moved on, I had my pups and everything was so blissfully perfect I thought I might die of happiness." she was not lying now, nothing could be further from a lie. Her eyes were threatening to fill with tears. "And then I lost it all. I thought my heart had been broken before but it was nothing compared to the torture that held. And still I couldn't just be tortured, I had to act to keep my father alive."

She was half-turning away by now.
"So sorry if you don't have to lie your way into keeping the ones you love alive," she said, the anger gone out of her voice. All it held now was pure grief and self-loathing. "Sorry if I choose to forget during the day, so it's easier for everyone, and let them haunt me at night with their beautiful dead faces." She just stared at him, all the hopelessness clear in her eyes.

[[Midnight]]

In the back of his mind, he wondered to himself. Watching the female break down like she was doing; would he ever feel pity for her? Did he feel pity now?
Part of him wished he could feel anything right now. Anything besides anger. It was an emotion that had a burning sensation always somewhere inside of you, never wanting to go away. He had gotten used to it, now, but didn't want to accept it.

Maybe he didn't want to accept the fact that he'd never be happy again. He didn't believe he ever would be, how could it be possible? Everything he was raised to believe was gone. Now he had nothing more to believe in whatsoever.

He felt himself calming down. For some reason, seeing Rose break down like that made him able to control his anger better, to think clearer. He took a deep breath and looked away from the female wolf, eyes still narrowed and full of hate despite of his relaxing muscles.

"You know, Rose," he spoke emotionlessly, refusing to look at her. "Duke is big boy. He can make his own decisions. But if it's the satisfaction of seeing you deaden yourself up inside during the day so you can cry out loud in your sleep that makes him happy enough to stay alive... Than I was wrong. Duke is one sick bastard."
This time he looked back at her, noticing how hard she was trying not to cry. It would have been more natural if both of them were crying right now, or even fighting to the death. But everything was different now in the Valley of the Dead.

"You told me that moving on is the stronger thing to do. You don't look so strong to me right now," he said matter-of-factly, not in an insulting way. "Maybe I am a coward for being angry at the world, especially my parents, but they're dead now, so what does it matter? Why try to move on prematurely and let it eat you from the inside when there are other ways to handle the pain? Let your father kill himself before he kills you. If you do, you can take over Falling Moon, and I can rule behind or beside you or whatever the hell the Princess wants."

[Paint]

Rose was caught off guard for the first time during the discussion at his last few words. She expected the insults, the threats, all of that stuff. But rule beside her? She snarled and burst into tears at exactly the same time.

"God, Justyn, you just- don't- GET- it!" she practically screamed between sobs. "Deaden MYSELF up? LOOK AT YOURSELF," she snarled at him, tears lining her cheeks with darker white. "You can't even face me right now. Look at me, for god's sake, look at me!"

She didn't know why, but having him turned away made her feel so much worse. She knew he did not pity her, but having him look away made her feel like she should be ashamed.
"Every single damn Falling Moon wolf is so afraid to feel ANYTHING but anger!" she screamed. She felt like slamming into him to wake him up. "I have moved on in some ways, Justyn, but I am the most feeling wolf in this pack. THAT is why I scream in my sleep every night, because my shattered heart will NOT let go of what I STILL LOVE."

She could feel the tears in her heart pulling apart again. She was so thankful there were no other wolves around, she could barely handle breaking down in front of one.
"And as for ruling beside me?" she spat, voice becoming quieter but still just as hateful. "As soon as my father is gone, so am I. I've got nothing else left to care for. You can rule this pack, in all your angry charm because everyone knows the Falling Moons are hateful lunatics. You'll do perfectly sitting on top of that throne, your highness."

She stared at him, willing him to look up at her and see her breaking down. Her expression was perfectly clear. Happy now? Happy now that you've broken me apart again?

[[Midnight]]

Finally, finally, her reaction was just what he wanted. He was getting some sense out of her. He knew she was the most sane one in the entire pack, he knew it. But now he was getting to hear what she was thinking with some sincereness instead of her stupid facade. With both of their thoughts and feelings out on the table, Justyn felt more secure than he had in a long time. It was wrong of him to get pleasure out of her pain, but he had to admit, her words did affect some part of him, whether that part was lost or found.

He waded through the water, towards her, his eyes on nothing but her.

"You're right. I am afraid to feel anything more than anger," he said seriously, a small smile on his white and black maw. "After all, I wouldn't be alive without it. Your father would have killed me if I hadn't forced myself to become strong. I'm a coward, Rose, a coward who's only vice is to survive."

He stopped in his tracks a short distance away from her. Now they could really see eye-to-eye, and if Rose and he wanted to show each other more of their "feelings", they were free to strike out at one another.
"I would say I'm just like my father - diseased and nothing but a sick traitor. But maybe I never really betrayed anyone, since sometimes I feel like this is where I belong. And if you're doing what you want to, it's the people who try to stop you that are the ones to betray you. You should know that better than anyone," he said, referring to her earlier story about having to be seperated from Raiden. The sad part about that was that Raiden wasn't even a Dancing Star for God's sake. Daddy just didn't want to sever the leash. If Duke kept it up, he'd be the death of his daughter for sure, no matter how much the two cared about one another.

"I'm looking at you, by the way. And I hate to admit that you're right again. You are the most alive out of all of us. That's probably why I'd follow your leadership over Duke's anyday."

[Paint]

She watched as he walked towards her, his dark figure blurring as the tears flowed freely from her eyes. She blinked at they cleared just in time to see his little smile. She'd gotten it wrong, he wasn't masochistic, he liked seeing others' pain. Sickening, Rose thought numbly.

It was so strange to have all the walls crash down around you, everything you'd built up torn down with one spiteful conversation. She watched him, looking at him eye-to-eye and just waiting for the onslaught. When it didn't come, when he continued to be calm

"You can't... tell anyone," Rose said, her breath rushing as she struggled to get ahold of her voice and stop crying. "You may be ready to watch my father die, but I'm not. Not yet." she gazed at him in an almost pleading way. She had promised herself she'd never depend on anyone for anything again, and here she was depending on Justyn's ability to keep his word. If he even agreed to that. "And as for your father, well he wasn't a traitor on purpose. Everyone knows he was sick. Not sick like us Moons-" here she laughed raspily again. "-not sick with emotion. There was actual reason for it all, some genetic anomaly."

Rose sighed and felt like giving up. Her bones were shaking so she sat down in the disgusting wet marsh water and let herself be ugly for once in her life. Being beautiful and happy could be reserved for the other pack members.

"We're the ones who have chosen this- to live with such social friction. That's what happens when you throw a bunch of angry wolves into one valley, they break out or they go at each other." she said darkly. She'd heard about the uprising, having only been a few months old she hadn't taken part. She had no doubt her father would lead another. Sickening, really, but she had to let him do what he wanted- or by Justyn's description she'd be a traitor.

[[Midnight]]

He had felt new emotions coming back to him all at once... Until she mentioned his father. Then his face fell blank once more and he stood motionless in the murky waters, feeling that burning sensation rising in his belly once more.

"My father... Was what killed my mother from the very beginning. My father is what turned my mother into a liar. I wonder what she thought when she looked into the eyes of my brothers and my sister, her children, and lied to them about how everything was going to be okay when she knew it wasn't going to happen. Not in a million years would it ever be okay. Because she was going to have to rule alone and try to be strong, and she would lead all of Dancing Stars into battle against your father. And we were all going to die. I know that's what she truly believed."

He shook his head hopelessly, but his eyes were searching Rose's.

"Actually, I'm a hypocrite. The truth is, you're starting to remind me of my own mother. Keeping your feelings bottled up inside, lying to the ones you love so that they would continue to have the will to live. I told you I hate you and that's really not all that true... So then why do I hate my mother so much? Interesting."

He leaned his head down to lap up some of the water. It tasted like nothing but mud, but his mouth was getting dry from all of this talking. He could handle a little bit of a dirty mouth.
When he lifted his face, licking his chops, he was clearly not done talking to her.

"Maybe it's not the fact that my father was a diseased murderer that made me so ashamed of him. Maybe it's because I sometimes feel like I have a disease, too. Don't you ever feel diseased, Rose?"

He figured she'd probably have no idea what he was talking about, but he wanted to see her reaction from his psycotic words. Would he scare her? Disgust her? Or something completely different?