even if it kills me /open

[[Midnight]]

Taya did catch the look of pain on his face, but she of course couldn't understand what it meant. She was oblivious to the fact that her sympathy had hurt his feelings. Even if she had enough brains to catch on, his frustration would probably make her sympathize even more! Poor Taya, so single-minded, so intent on pleasing others; she often got lost in her own unconditional love for others. She instead took his brief silence as self-pity, and her face only showed a deepened frown. She wished she could help him, but what could she do but hope for the best? But really, in the end, perhaps ignorance really was bliss. Maybe what really mattered was here and now, like Bion said. His family would be what made him truly happy.

She smiled again as he spoke sensibly. Taya felt guilty as she realized her idea was actually outrageous - how could he join Falling Moon after starting a family in the Stars? He was right, he needed to focus on the present, most definately. She, too, imagined him putting his own needs first, waltzing into another pack's territory, changing his entire lifestyle just to see if he could happen to get memories back.

She shifted her thoughts to his next subject; Bion becoming a Moons wolf. Instantly the thought made her wonder how Bion could ever change personalities - and if he did become a Moons wolf, what would that really mean? She hadn't heard many stories about them, and the ones she had heard of she honestly questioned their authenticity.

"Moons wolf or Stars wolf, you'll always be Bion to your loved ones," she prophesied, even thinking back to her own family, the one she left to find a new home. If she ever found them again, she'd still be Taya to them, right? His next question had her thinking even harder. For him to ask a question like that meant that he hadn't ruled out the idea of living with them. But she wondered now if she had led him astray. His passion for being here with his family made her feel guilty for tugging at his heartstrings. She didn't want to change what made him so noble.

"That would be your own decision to make. You have Esmerelda to think of, of course." She looked him straight in the eye, ready to be honest - she was good at telling someone how it was, or so she thought. "But if it's something you think you have to do, then I think you should do it. Don't live in regret."

[Fire]

Taya was so wise that it astounded Bion, and he wondered if she knew it herself. Probably not, seeing as she seemed even more modest than she was intelligent. It made him feel bad for resenting her words but he couldn't seem to repress the irritation that gnawed at him a little whenever she sounded pitying. Still, it wasn't her fault and he knew that. Taya was just naturally caring and that was something to cherish, not denounce.
Bion reckoned she was right. If the tables had turned, and it ended up with Taya considering joining the 'enemy', he wouldn't mind one bit. He'd be worried about her and miss her while she was gone, but if it made her happy then he was all for it, and he supposed she probably felt a little similar.
"You're right, of course, Taya," he replied, looking down at the ground thoughtfully. "I think it's worth a shot at least. I'd have to talk to Caden about it, but what if he doesn't understand? There's no way I'd walk away from this pack knowing that I wouldn't be allowed back. This place is my home." As he often tended to do, Bion was thinking out loud again. Words spilled from his mouth before he had a chance to catch up with himself. If Caden didn't understand then there'd be trouble. He imagined waltzing up to him and requesting a break from the Stars because he might not belong there, then turning up a few months later stinking of the Falling Moons. He wondered if Caden would be alright about his situation, but he'd never had very much contact with him. Surely he'd know a bit about him, especially since news travelled so fast in the pack, but he couldn't possibly know that he might have Falling Moon family. It shouldn't matter, especially to somebody as level-headed as Caden would need to be as an alpha, but maybe his pack pride would get in the way.

He looked up and a funny thought struck him the second snowy pelt appeared in his vision again. It was crazy and he wasn't sure that she'd accept, and he was even more unsure about how she'd react. It was ridiculous and outrageous and more than anything it was unfair. And he couldn't believe he was about to ask, but he had to.
"Taya, if I did go eventually, would you consider coming with me?"

[[Midnight]]

Bombshell! Taya felt an unfamiliar feeling tug at her heartstrings. Of all the things that Bion could have suggested, this was by far the most shocking question Bion had posed. She felt an unpleasant rock of anxiety settle in the pit of her stomach as she struggled for an answer. But her mind was suddenly blank, and she could only blink stupidly at the gray wolf like she hadn't heard him correctly.

Go with him?

It was not something she considered possible. Or at least, she wouldn't have thought so until now. As she searched Bion's eyes for any reason to explain why he'd want her to go, she felt her fears melting. When she had first left her birth family, she was without regrets, only hopefulness. To this day, Taya hadn't changed much - always eager to please and to be pleased. When she thought of going with Bion to visit Falling Moon, the idea was suddenly exhilarating. She would love to see them for herself, the mysterious Moons whom rivaled the Stars. Taya thought of it as quite the adventure.

But like Bion, she was unwilling to go there if it meant giving up her place in Dancing Stars. She was far too deep-rooted there now... Or, was she? In reality, Taya supposed her only sentimental ties to Dancing Stars were her recently made friends - Bion now being one of the most important to her. Perhaps, in the end, whatever may come, the results of their escapades would be far too interesting to ignore.

She regained her mentality after a brief moment and perked her ears back up.

"It was my idea in the first place - how could I say no?" she relied, with a reassuring smile. She almost couldn't believe herself as the words came from her mouth.

"Unlike you, I don't have a family to take care of. Theoretically, I could follow you consequence-free."

The weight of the situation was on her shoulders - Taya knew she had gained Bion's trust and friendship. Now she would regret it if she were to let him down. Without realizing it, her mind had been made up the moment she had made her suggestion. Perhaps it was her own nobility that gave her the courage - or maybe it was something far different...

[Fire]

Taya didn't sound very enthusiastic, and Bion felt a little disappointed. Despite knowing how much of a bombshell it was, somewhere in the back of his mind Bion had hoped she might have seen it through the same adventurous eyes as he did. He studied her face, hoping he was wrong and that she genuinely wanted to come with him.
"You don't have to come, Tay," he said, completely serious despite the nickname he'd just given her. "It's just an idea. Please don't feel like you have to because I'm not trying to put you in that position at all."
His attempt to convince himself that this was entirely true was short lived. He wanted desperately for Taya to come. He'd be lying if he said he wouldn't be just a little disheartened if she decided not to, but that didn't mean he was going to force his friend to do anything against her will. He wouldn't even dream of it.

Bion was becoming increasingly aware of the sun rising higher and higher over the mountains, and there was a golden light flooding the valley already. As much as he wanted to stay and chat with Taya all day, he wanted to get some sleep and then check on Es. They hadn't seen much of each other recently and the pups would be born soon, and he wanted to make sure she was alright.

Slowly he got up and stretched out his front legs, raised his rump in the air and whined a small yawn. "Listen, Tay, I'm a little sleepy. I'll catch you later, alright?"
He leaned toward her and gave her maw a quick lick as a goodbye. "I expect the pups will be born soon too, and I want you to meet them."

As he began to wander back toward the dens to get some shut eye, he paused briefly to say: "And thanks. For everything. I hope you have a lovely day," before smiling warmly at her and disappearing into the small, cave-like den. He felt like the day was already off to a flying start, and he continued to smile to himself about the new friend he'd made as he fell asleep.