stray heart /es

[Fire]

I'm where I belong
without a home
I'll hold your heart and never let go

Bion had never really been an immature wolf. Excitable, yes. Hyperactive at times and a little uncontrollable, yes. Now, though, he felt more grown up than ever. With a mate and soon-to-be-born pups on the way he had a family to look after now, as well as wandering down paths that could lead to remembering everything that had disappeared, he felt like his life had taken a huge turn. For the best or for the worst he couldn't be sure, but it was certainly a turn toward adventure. Adventure was, after all, what made his world go around.

His lungs filled with thick, warm Spring air as he made his way out of the dense forest of Gale Cliff and up to the rocky Lookout. It was getting dark and the sky had vivid swirls of deep red and purple, and although their half of the valley was cloaked in shadow Bion kept his gaze firmly on the Falling Moon territory. It was no accident that he'd stumbled upon the ideal place for studying enemy turf. In fact he often found himself here whenever he could spare the time. He liked trying to identify the different parts of the land to see how different it was from his own. He wasn't sure how he felt to know that he might actually belong over there with them, but it didn't feel as strange as he wished it did.

Raising his ebony maw to the sky he took a deep breath and began to sing. He called for Esmerelda specifically, but he would have settled for any company. His voice was deep yet determinedly cheerful as always but it contained notes that hinted toward a loneliness that no amount of wolves could dismiss. He felt forlorn, and he didn't like it. Bion wished desperately for someone who could empathise with how it felt. It wasn't sympathy he wanted, just to be understood.

Right now all he knew was that he belonged with Esmerelda. Home is where the heart is. And his heart was with her. His song faded into the night and he felt a little better than before. A little stress had lifted from his shoulders now that he'd shared it with the world and he finally sat down and let himself smile at the sight of the entire valley; his home.

everything I want
I want from you

[Paint]

Es had been snoozing under the cover of the forest, enjoying the sense of freedom that came with being in the pack. She was making herself see the positives. She knew that she was safe here, but even so, in her new state she would have to start using the dens at some point. She'd never been pregnant before, all she knew was that she felt oddly content all of the time, apart from if she was hungry or tired. All of her restless energy seemed to have been transferred into the pups growing inside of her.

She slowly lifted her head, batting her eyelids dopily as she heard Bion's howl. There was something awfully sad about his loneliness, something that seemed to plague him even when she was there. They both needed their space to function, but she knew they loved each other. It upset her slightly to think that he was still feeling lonely and confused. Still, she had not yet asked what about. Perhaps this time she would.

Lifting herself to her feet, the dappled female stretched out her body and began trotting towards the cliff. She was sure, having now explored the place, that that was where Bion would be found. His howl had been very clear, indicating that he was somewhere high up, and she had Gale Cliff pinned for one of his favourite spots.

She made her way up out of the forest, climbing the cliff with the swiftness of a mountain goat. Not long after the howl had resonated into silence, she found the black and white male and a soft smile spread over her face.
"Hello lovely," she spoke even more softly, moving immediately to his side and leaning into him. She sighed contentedly. "Why so lonesome?" she asked, carefully.

[Fire]

Tired golden eyes sought out Esmerelda desperately the moment she spoke, Bion's lack of sleep disturbingly evident and shocking in comparison to his normal and lively self. Although he looked weary, he also looked fiercely determined and it made his face seem more aged than it really was. He knew he probably looked worse than he felt, so he put extra effort into making sure he didn't seem too distressed.
"Hey, Es," he said softly, smiling automatically at the sight of his mate and the growing bump on her tummy. Bion was glad that he had her by his side because he knew that, just like now, he could talk to her about anything. Thoughts of joining the Falling Moons, even for a short while, were plaguing him despite knowing how utterly absurd it was. For a few moments he said and did nothing except study his mate with fascination. Every time he saw her he felt the same delirious happiness he'd felt on the first day he'd met her. It was like seeing her for the first time all over again, but this time she was pregnant with his pups.

Bion allowed his smile to grow as she moved closer to him, and he gave her an affectionate nudge before settling his maw on her head. He considered her question carefully. "Well, it's just that-" he considered telling her the truth for a brief second, but dismissed it almost instantly. Not yet. He exhaled a sigh quiet enough to be mistaken for a heavy breath. "I just wanted some company." It was likely that she'd know he was lying, as she was the more perceptive of the two, but perhaps she'd leave it for now at least. He hoped she would. Anyway, it was mostly true. He did want company, specifically hers. Es had always made him feel a little more settled and grounded, like she were his rock. It was an odd comparison to make, really, given how much of a free spirit she had.
Normally Bion hated not getting straight to the point. There was no reason for it at all and he considered it to be a little idiotic. He liked things to be simple rather than complicated, and in most cases tip-toeing around the purpose of the conversation tended to make things more complicated. This, however, was not most cases, and he wanted the tranquility and simplicity of this moment to last just a little while longer before he talked to Esmerelda about what he was thinking.

"How are you?" he asked eventually, his eyes momentarily darting to her stomach and back again. Asking how somebody was had never been just a formality to Bion. It was normally the first thing he asked because it was important to him, and oddly enough he was getting a little better at being able to tell if they were lying or not. Perhaps that was part of growing up, too; becoming more perceptive. Or perhaps he was just learning, being taught life lessons due to his circumstances. Either way, he wasn't sure if he liked the idea of being able to tell what others were thinking.

His gaze slid back to the dark red sky, wondering how his mate would react when he suggested his joining the Moons. Secretly he hoped she'd scold him and tell him not to think about such ridiculous things, the way a stern mother would tell her child. At least then he'd have a reason to put the thoughts aside, but he knew it wouldn't be that easy. Life was never that easy.

[Paint]

Es felt her heart warm at his welcome, settling in cozily as he rested his maw upon her head. It was such a natural gesture, almost of ownership, but it always made her feel calm. Even without seeing his face she knew that he did not want to talk about whatever was plaguing his mind. Yes, it irritated her slightly, but she knew that he would not be concealing things from her unless he really had to. Perhaps he thought she was too fragile in her current state.

She leant back a little so that she could see him, but she was still close enough to be intimate. She blinked her big green eyes up at him, wondering what it was that made him so low. He didn't look very well. He looked worried and serious, so unlike the Bion she knew he really was. Clearly he was growing up a bit, as they all did, but she understood. He had some issues that needed working out. So she smiled, nodded her head gently and glanced away. She could wait until he was ready.

"I'm good, actually," she turned back at his question, shaking her head a little. Her tawny fur had not yet lost all of its winter coat, despite the ever-warming weather. Es wondered briefly if it was a good idea to be having pups so late in the season. Still, what was done was done. She was sure that at some point soon she'd have them, and that would be that. The real beginning of a new life. She looked at him with a curious kind of determination- if he was concealing information because he thought she was not in a fit state to receive it, she wanted him to know that he was wrong. She could handle it, easily. "How are you?" she asked with an equal amount of interest, genuinely concerned for her mate.

[Fire]

Bion didn't answer her question right away, considering his answer carefully. Worrying Esmerelda was certainly not going to make anything better but he didn't feel right keeping things from her, especially since he was obliged to tell her everything. Wasn't that how being mates worked? Quite frankly he had no idea. He'd never spoken to Bandit about this because it had never crossed his mind before. Absently, he turned his gaze to the ground.
"I'm all right, just a little tired," he said softly, with a smile that, although lacking enthusiasm a little, was completely genuine.
"I don't know if I've told you, but I saw Rose again the other day." Bion looked up briefly, frowning; trying to figure out from her expression whether he had or not.
Probably he hadn't, they hadn't seen each other since Caden accepted her into the pack. Back into the pack, that is. Es had been a loner for some time and Bion often wondered which she'd preferred. Did she miss it, or did she see it as a time out from the pack to discover herself, so to speak? If she'd left the pack for a while, she might understand why he wanted to.
"She has pups, too. Two of them." He nodded for emphasis, trying to look enthusiastic. Concentrating, he cast his mind back and tried to remember their faces. It had been a while but he still saw them in his head, clearer than memories should be. Clearer perhaps than Rose herself.
"I...had this, ah- strange feeling," Bion began, wondering if it was at all a good idea to tell her this. "Like I recognise them? I'm not sure. Obviously I don't. I've never seen them before..."
He straightened his back a little and sniffed almost haughtily, worrying he'd said too much; sounded too weird. He didn't want Esmerelda to leave him.

"How long do you think it'll be?" he asked, looking up again and nuzzling her affectionately. "Should we start thinking of names or wait until they arrive?"
Despite himself, Bion grinned widely for the first time in a while. At least, it was a while for Bion who was used to smiling constantly.