up all night/ rose and pups

[Fire]

let's get this straight, do you want me here?
as I struggle through each and every year

Bion had convinced himself that there was absolutely no harm in being here. After all, he was still in No Man's Land and he had every right to use this stream if he wished. He wasn't looking for anybody in particular, but if he happened upon a few familiar faces it was mere coincidence.
As it happened, it wouldn't be mere coincidence at all if Bion saw anybody he knew, because he'd been spending an awful lot of time at Moon Stream in the hope of seeing Rose or Raiden. He was just so curious, he couldn't help himself. He was positive that no harm would come to him, because he realised recently that he wasn't exactly skinny. He'd never thought about himself as being strong at all, just clumsy and slow, but he'd been thinking about protecting his soon-to-be family and he'd come to the conclusion that he was pretty big. He wasn't sure where he'd inherited it from, and he couldn't remember either of his so-called parents very well. He'd only met them once so his memory was a little fuzzy.
A fuzzy memory of his parents, how fitting.

He moved cautiously toward the water, though, still unsure of what kind of wolves lurked on the other side of the river. From what he'd heard, it sounded pretty dangerous, but Rose hadn't seemed dangerous at all. In fact, she'd seemed rather lovely. He sighed gently, dipping his head down to the surface and drinking half-heartedly. He wasn't thirsty at all. The only reason he was drinking from the river was so that he didn't feel stupid for being here.
He sat down, his movements slow and unhurried. He had all the time in the world. He could sit here and enjoy the view if he wished. He was in no hurry whatsoever.

And if he happened upon a few familiar faces, it was mere coincidence.

and all these demons, they keep me up all night
they keep me up all night

[Paint]

OOC. and so begins the unrealistic age jump of pups!
BIC.

Rose was never really the mother to curl up in the den and wait for the pups to be big enough. Despite the pack being as vicious as it always was, Rose knew that one howl of danger would soon send both Justyn and Duke running to her and her pups aid- two of the strongest wolves in the pack. So she felt no fear in exploring, as the pups had learned to walk, although their words were not there yet. She could not quite get over how absolutely tiny they were, so sweet, so reckless. They could understand a little, though, and she guided the two of them onwards.

As she reached the border, she was intending to drink, and make it clear to her pups not to cross this stream. She would later explain about No Man's Land, but for now, they were far too young to venture anywhere that dangerous. She wasn't going to let them out of her sights. Already their personalities were beginning to develop. Razanur, the male, wandered around a little, becoming curious about everything around him. He was hard to get the attention of, but once she did, a sharp word would send him bounding back to the safety of her tall legs. Saki seemed a little more boisterous, oddly enough, and, although clumsy at this young age, was attempting to run circles around both her brother and mother. She didn't listen quite so easily, but Rose knew how to handle pups such as her. Oddly enough, Bion had been similar.

It was then that the scent entered her nostrils.
"Come here," she ordered, in a voice so serious that the pups both instantly listened. They took shelter beneath her tummy, looking out at the water and trying to see what Rose could see. But of course, Rose could see nothing, only hear and smell the arrival of a new wolf. The scent was familiar, but she wasn't taking any chances. The packs were so bloody intermingled these days.

She waited, finally assessing that the wolf must have travelled a little way downstream. The trees and bushes were fairly thick around here. She turned to her pups, ordered them to stay, and stepped forwards towards the water. Her feet dipped in, then her maw to drink, but her eyes were alert. They raked the opposite bank of the small river, up and down until- she saw Bion's black and white head take a drink downstream. She immediately stood up, moved backwards out of sight. Looking backwards at her pups, huddled together and filled with nervous excitement as they watched her, she made the decision.

"Keep close, little ones," she spoke in a hushed but serious tone. They bounced up and ran beneath her body, and their inability to understand their vulnerability both made her heart hurt and soar. She moved forwards gently until she was sure she'd be opposite her old son, then she was out of the bushes and holding the pups back from the waters edge. She started at Bion with dark eyes.

"Please tell me that you've come here in peace."

[Fire]

The voice seemed to have timed their entry rather well because Bion was just about to get up and leave, a little bit more disappointed than he had been the last time he'd been sitting here. He had been considering walking away and not coming back. He'd been considering leaving this part of his life behind and concentrating on his new one, despite how much he wanted to remember.
It was a good thing she'd spoken when she had, and Bion was surprised to find that he remembered it well. Whether he had, ironically, a particularly good memory of when they met or not, he couldn't be sure. All he knew was that her voice was easily recognisable, to him at least. It was possible she just had a distinctive voice that he hadn't forgotten, but somehow it soothed him. It made him feel a little better; the kind of relief you felt as a pup when you got lost and finally found somebody you knew.
He looked up, heart hammering against his chest. Stupidly, he had forgotten to plan what it is he would say to Rose if he saw her again, so all he could do was force back a smile at the sight of her and mull her words over in his head. Of course he'd come in peace, what else would he be here for? He didn't really want to cause havoc and tear their lands apart, leaving dead females and pups in his wake. The very idea made him shudder and feel a little bit ill.

"Hello, Rose," he said quietly, too distracted at first to notice the tiny, wonderful balls of fluff beneath her. Although her face was familiar in the same sense her voice was, he wondered if it was due to the gravity their first meeting had held. When somebody told you they were your mother then you'd surely remember them the next time you saw them.
"I have, yes. I mean I don't really know if I could come in...oh, what's the opposite of peace? War? Conflict? What I mean to say is, I've not come looking for trouble or a-"

It was then that he looked desperately away from Rose's face and spotted what she was protecting. His jaw dropped a fraction and he felt a shudder run down his spine, hot tears pricking his eyes. They were so beautiful. Something strange flared inside him, an emotion he wasn't used to. He wasn't sure if it was an emotion, actually. More of a feeling, or a...reminiscence. Or a reminder. It felt like he had no right to feel so much for two pups he'd never seen before, and had no relation to. There was no way he wanted to be intrusive, but there was something so captivating and haunting about them that he had to muster all his strength to look away from them and back and Rose. He was so overpowered by his thoughts that he could only stare at her desperately for a few moments.
"You've got pups." His voice, although quiet, didn't sound the least bit sad. In fact the reason it was quiet was because overcome with joy. "Con-congratulations." He tried to smile because that was all he felt like doing but the frown on his forehead remained, a look of bewilderment.
A million questions burst into his mind but he still had no idea what it was he should ask. He knew he'd come here because of the past, but the pups now seemed like a more pressing matter to him.
The first thing he asked was what he considered to be the most important, more than their names or how many weeks, months old they were. "How are they? Are they okay? Are you okay, Rose?"
He breathed in deeply and slowly let out a shaky sigh to return to a state of normality. He had plenty of time to figure out why the two pups held such significance. It was probably because it was a reflection of things to come. Soon Bion would be settling down and having pups of his own, it must be instinctive to feel protective of all pups when you're soon to have them yourself.

[Paint]

Rose's entire body seemed to relax upon Bion's stuttering greeting of peace. She even smiled a little as she exhaled, having forgotten his charming way of speaking. She watched his expression change as he looked down at the pups, and she glanced down herself. She had not truly prepared herself for this, for Bion meeting his brother and sister, not yet anyway. But why not now? Wasn't it some sort of sign that Bion had appeared right at the moment that Rose had wandered this far?

The pups wandered a little out from beneath her, glancing at Bion. Saki immediately tried to step forward and boldly say hello, but Razanur held back a little bit, staring curiously. Rose placed a paw on Saki's tail, meaning the little one couldn't go any further towards the water.

"You used to be just like her," she commented softly, not even sure if Bion could hear. Saki seemed a little more bold in her endeavours, but Bion used to always run headlong into situations just as she seemed to be doing. Rose wondered where these genes came from, as she and Raiden were not quite so careless. Still, she realised that she hadn't answered Bion's questions. She cleared her throat and smiled.

"They're fine, Bion. A healthy boy and girl. And I'm fine, too," she added towards the end. She wondered whether she should introduce them as siblings, or just introduce them as strangers. It was a fairly difficult one to call, but eventually she decided to choose the less dramatic option. "This is Saki, the girl. And the boy is Razanur," she gestured towards them as she spoke, and then stopped to look up at Bion again. She wondered at his expression. Did he himself have pups? It felt odd to think that she may be a grandmother without even knowing it.

[Fire]

Bion's brow was wrinkled a little, worried about how Rose was going to react to his babbling. As a mother, she'd obviously be fiercely protective of her pups and he didn't want to intrude. It felt a little too personal, a little too close and it made him feel out of place. In a way, he almost wished that he were on that side of the river, too. Being part of a family would be nice. When she relaxed, Bion felt any tension in his muscles drain and a small but comfortable smile spread across his dark lips. Maybe he wasn't all that out of place after all.

His gaze drifted calmly to the pups, feeling a little less uneasy about his fascination with them. They really were the most wonderful creatures he'd even seen. The black one seemed a little cautious of him, but the other seemed more adventurous and his smile grew fonder at her act of bravery. Of course they were too small to understand the dangers of the world. Her innocence and curiosity was something to be cherished and he wondered which pup he'd been more like when he was younger. His ebony ears twitched delicately when he was sure he heard Rose mutter the answer, but it was so quiet that he felt sure it was his mind playing tricks. More questions swarmed his mind suddenly like angry wasps and he forced himself to push them to the edge of his thoughts until it was just a dull humming. Those questions could wait. He knew Rose was a part of his past by now because she and her pups felt familiar. The scene did anyway, if not the black and white infants. Rose's motherly instinct and protection, the naive and inquisitive atmosphere that surrounded them, balanced out by Rose setting boundaries and guiding them through the world.

He breathed out slowly, relieved that they were all fine, including Rose. It seemed an obvious question to ask, but Bion wanted to make sure. The Falling Moons had a reputation for being vicious, blood-thirsty and cruel and he hoped they were safe. He knew very little about Rose but from what he'd seen she didn't fit that description, so either the description was wrong or this was all just a big joke.

A soft 'hrm' formed in his throat as he considered this and fixed his emerald eyes firmly back on Rose.
"Saki and Razanur," he murmured as if he were testing them out. "Good names. They suit them." He smiled brightly at Rose, happiness clear in his eyes. More than anything it was odd how comfortable he felt around her. There was no feeling of distrust, but Bion had always been an overly trusting kind of wolf.

"I'm glad I caught you actually, Rose," he said, his expression turning a little more serious but keeping its soft, friendly nature. Part of him wanted to cross the river and talk to her face to face because it felt so impersonal but he knew he couldn't. Moon territory was no place for him.
"I've been thinking about when I saw you-" he quickly stopped himself adding 'for the first time' in case he upset her "-and about what you said. I don't- I can't remember anything yet, but I'm hoping..." There was a small pause while he gathered his thoughts and looked at Rose with an expression bordering on solemn. "I'm hoping that spending time with you might bring things back if you really are my...If I really knew you." He looked down at his paws uncomfortably, hoping that what he was about to say didn't sound rude because the last thing he wanted was to hurt her.
"I want to trust you. I really do. But I can't be too careful. I don't know who to trust so I'm sort of going on instinct here; what feels right. I hope you understand, Rose." His gaze drifted up wards and his bright green eyes settled on the vulnerable little wolves that were next to her. "I want you to be a part of my life but for now it can only be as friends."

He breathed a small sigh and searched Rose's expression. Hopefully now that the serious part was over they could settle into a normal conversation.

[Paint]

Rose watched Bion carefully, studying his expressions and his body language. She could only imagine how difficult this was for him, trying to make connections, trying to convince himself that he and she were related. She thought it would hurt her, when he could not call her 'mother', but now that she thought about it, she would not be comfortable calling him 'son'. Not just yet. They had grown too far apart, and although she would always love him unconditionally, she grew more and more aware that she did not know him.

The white wolf waited, listening to all Bion had to say. Her ears flicked in thought but apart from that, her expression remained blank. She looked down at Saki and Razanur, who seemed to have worn themselves out, and as she sat down they snuggled beneath the warmth of her belly and settled into slumber. She tried to remember a time when she was that trusting, but found that she couldn't. She had always felt apart from her siblings, older, more mature, less reliant. It was only as she grew she realised that she preferred to be relied on than to rely on others.

Slowly she lifted her head again and looked at Bion.

"I should love to be friends," she spoke honestly, a small smile spreading across her face. Part of her remembered the pain, the agonising pain, first of losing her little family and then finding Bion again only to not be remembered. She wondered how he had survived without her. "Even if you don't ever truly remember me... I'd like you to know that I would never hurt you. I would still protect you as I would friends or family. I'll give you as much or as little information as you want. In return... I should like to know who kept you safe all of this time. I should like to perhaps meet them."

Naturally, Rose knew that this process would take a long time. In addition, she had her new pups to think of. Until they were old enough, she would not leave them, nor would she allow them to wander into No Man's Land. Not without protection, such as Duke or Justyn. But still, it would all depend upon who had taken care of Bion, for it may be too dangerous for Rose to meet them at all.

[Fire]

A strange warmth washed over him when Rose spoke about protecting him. Growing up he'd had Bandit to watch over him but their relationship had never felt as intimate as he imagined it would have with a real mother. He glanced thoughtfully at the pups for a split second before his emotionless gaze fell back on Rose. The thought that he had once pressed his maw into her soft underbelly for comfort and had fallen asleep there with his brothers and sisters plagued him. If he'd had brothers and sisters. If Rose was his mother.

Tucking these ideas away and smiling brightly once again, Bion nodded in response to her words. Honestly he wasn't sure whether or not Bandit would want to meet Rose, but he'd do his best to convince her. Ideally they'd get on and he wouldn't have to worry that Bandit disapproved of his meetings with Rose.
Still, he was an adult now and as much as he loved and respected his foster mother, she didn't have any say over his life anymore. He got the feeling she wouldn't be too fussed, but Bion had been dependent on her for so long that it would feel odd if he didn't tell her about Rose soon.

"Of course, of course!" he said, voice brimming with excitement. "I'd love for you to meet her but I still need to talk to her about it. I haven't told her about you yet and-" a slightly guilty expression spread across his face "-I don't know how she'll react." He cast his mind back to what Bandit had told him about herself. She was the daughter of a previous Dancing Star alpha so rivalry with the Moons probably coursed through her blood. Bandit was level-headed though, and he was positive she wouldn't turn down the offer to meet his possible mother.

Bion watched Rose curiously, wondering what to ask her first.
"Have you...been with the Moons all your life?" he ventured. Perhaps she had joined them for personal reasons, or maybe she was born there. Her parents may even be in the pack, and the idea intrigued him.
He waited patiently for her to answer and decided that it was only fair for her to know about his life if he was going to ask about hers.
"Your turn," he added, tilting his head to the side slightly.

[Paint]

"Of course," she nodded her head. So it was a she, naturally. Rose was slightly mystified but she would let Bion do this in his own time. Whoever had looked after him had done a grand job really And the intelligent, cool-headed part of Rose did not care that it was a Stars wolf who had done so. All she cared was that someone had been there when she had been forced away from Bion.

With one last gaze at the pups beneath her, gently tucking one of Razanur's outstretched paws in a little, Rose prepared herself for Bion's questions. She wondered if she had ever told him what she was about to tell him- she couldn't remember if they'd ever had the chance to really talk before the earthquake hit. It seemed that, memory loss or not, it took a pup growing up to truly ask about their parents' lives.

"I was born in the Moons. My father is Duke, who is the current Alpha... I'm sure you've heard of him," Rose paused briefly, slightly wanting to smile. She wondered how Bion would react to knowing that he was the grandson of a powerful Alpha. Then she wondered if Duke even knew his grandson had survived, and was behind enemy lines. It was almost comic.

"I met... Raiden," she carefully avoided saying 'your father'. As much as she knew they were Bion's parents, truly it would not be real to him until he remembered. She accepted that. "When I was very young. A few months younger than you, perhaps. I was one of six siblings, and my mother was not Duke's current mate. Her name was Anevay."

Here she paused. Her expression remained open, though, and her dark eyes kind. She smiled slightly, as if to say I can tell you more if you wish.

"My turn. Tell me a little about your current life," Rose began, but did not want to appear as if she was trying to gather intelligence for her father's knowledge. "Do you have a mate? Or perhaps pups?"

[Fire]

The notion that Duke was Rose's father made Bion sway slightly and it took all of his composure to keep his face calm. Of course he'd heard of the Falling Moon alpha. He was infamous. Growing up with his pack meant growing up around over-dramatised stories about Duke that were often told by pups, and he suspected a fair few weren't all that exaggerated. However, one incident stuck in his mind. It was the first time he met Esmerelda. You reminded me of someone kinda scary. Since then, he'd found out the wolf he was referring to was, in fact, Duke. Bion had always found it curious that he shared so many characteristics with the alpha in question; a wolf that he couldn't be more different from in terms of personality. He'd also never met him, which meant everything he thought he knew was just from what others had told him and he wasn't sure how reliable that information was.
On the other hand, Rose was stood right in front of him and her colouration was not so different from his own.
Nodding to show her he was listening intently, he tried not to dwell on what he'd do if he really was Duke's grandson. Or what Duke would do if he found out he was with the Dancing Stars.

He smiled a little at the idea of Rose finding love around the same time as he had and thought about the two lovely pups that had come from that. Instantly he was thinking about what his pups with Es would be like, heart beginning to beat a little harder against his chest. Will they look like me and have their potential future mates mistaking them for the Falling Moon alpha? Or will they look like her, and become the most beautiful and kind wolves in the entire valley? The anticipation was almost too much to bear, and he tried yet again to keep his expression calm.

Anevay. He was sure he'd heard that name somewhere, too. It was hardly surprising if she used to be Duke's mate, though, and he wondered who the new alpha was and if Rose got along with her. Searching her eyes he tried to find a hint of bitterness, but there was none to be found unless Rose was particularly good at hiding it.
With a heavy heart, Bion found himself wondering if all of Rose's siblings had survived. The law of averages told him no, but he desperately hoped it was wrong.

At her invitation for him to talk about his own life, he paused thoughtfully before he replied. "I do have a mate, yes," he said, trying to contain the excitement and butterflies that were brewing in his stomach. As always, he wanted to talk about Esmerelda to Rose but he knew he couldn't. It wouldn't be safe, or fair on Es. This wasn't about her and he didn't want her to get caught up in it for the time being. Any mistakes he made were to be his responsibility. He didn't want to tell Rose all about his mate just yet. Not until he got his memory back and he knew for sure that this wasn't a lie.
"Oh, she's wonderful, Rose. I hope you can meet her one day," he added honestly. "And pups, too. On the way. Hopefully they'll be born soon." Unable to stop himself he grinned broadly at her but quickly looked down at his paws, slightly embarrassed. When he looked back up there was an apologetic smile spread across his maw but his eyes were still bright and eager.

He decided to ask another question that not knowing that answer to was driving him a little crazy. "If I am...well, um- did I have any siblings? Or was I the only in the litter? Are they with you over...there?" He nodded toward the Falling Moon territory, his expression almost pleading; desperate. Being an only child had been incredibly lonely and he needed to know if he'd ever had the chance to feel less alone before he'd lost his memory. It would be a comforting though, to know his first few months were not as secluded as the rest of his life had been. He had Esmerelda and even Taya now but when he started his life with the Dancing Stars he'd found it difficult to interact with pups his own age. Whether it was because of his memory loss or because he was so used to being with Bandit he didn't know, but he was never good at making friends.

[Paint]

Rose watched Bion's expression, trying to decipher how he felt about being Duke's grandson. She could only imagine what terror her father inflicted upon young pups of the Dancing Stars pack. It was not unusual for rival packs to drill their rivalries into pups from an early age. She wondered how many of the stories were true.

She felt her heart lighten slightly, lift and sing, when she heard he had a mate. The way he avidly spoke of her, even though he seemed a little guarded, made her so proud. As long as she was good to Bion, Rose did not care who she was. Rose had never quite felt the rivalry between packs like many other Moons wolves had. She believed in individuals, and if you were loved by Rose it did not matter whether you were a Moons or a Stars wolf. She did not understand why it mattered so much to everyone else.

"I'm so happy for you. I should very much like to meet her, and your pups. Please wish her a safe birth," Rose spoke softly, holding back from adding a 'from me' at the end of that sentence. She glanced down at her own pups at Bion's next question, her heart panging painfully. In the back of her mind she remembered what it was to wake up screaming in the middle of the night with the realisation that she had lost all of them.

"You did have siblings, Bion," her voice had grown very quiet, barely audible. But she tried to put strength into her voice so that he would know. So that he might remember. "Blake and Tammer. Blake was grey all over, and a lot more quiet than you were. Tammer had bad legs when she was born, a little black and grey pup, but she was growing out of it. They... unfortunately, they didn't survive."

Rose, of course, did not know that they were dead for sure. She had not seen their bodies crushed in any way. She'd simply lost them, and been unable to find them despite looking for hours and hours. When her father finally dragged her away from Empyrean, she accepted the loss as death. She would not even consider their being alive, for fear that it might crush her to lose them in any other way again. Rose found it impossible to ask another question for the moment. She closed her eyes, and breathed slowly, and tried to regain control of her emotions.

[Fire]

Bion nodded politely in acknowledgment at her request and made a soft 'mm' of agreement. Introductions would be important, but not at all something he wanted to think about right now. It worried him how much danger he could be putting not only himself in, but also his soon-to-be family. Bion tended to emit a gullible vibe, but it couldn't be farther from the truth. Sure he was trusting, because having faith in others had never let him down before, but not to the point of blindly believing everything a Falling Moon told him. No matter how lovely they seemed.

The news of his possible siblings greeted him with vague detachment. Although, he wasn't sure if it was detachment or shock. He watched Rose carefully with no signs of emotion on his face besides for a small frown of concentration. He didn't know if he was trying to figure out if she was telling the truth or if he just didn't know what to say.
It felt like he was just trying to digest what he'd been told. After being an only child for all of his life the hope that he might have siblings had filled him with a delirious joy that he'd never experienced before. It was different to when he and Es got together, or when she joined the pack. It was a different kind of happiness, more like the one he'd felt when he first set eyes on Rose's pups. To have it crushed felt almost... heart-breaking.
Angrily, he pushed these thoughts aside. Nothing in his life would change. He'd go back to being sibling-less and that was just fine with him. His heart had never longed for sibling company so why should he now?

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, his head falling to one side a little almost without him noticing. It was a gesture he was very familiar with giving; sympathetic. The look on Rose's face was relatively composed but he couldn't even comprehend losing his own pups, and they weren't even born yet. Had he done that to her when he'd run off and joined the Stars? His eyelids fluttered down guiltily. When his eyes opened again they were glittering with tears and filled with sadness.
"I'm so sorry, Rose. Really I am." He hauled a deep breath in and then out again, trying desperately to find the right words to comfort her. "But, the thing is...You shouldn't give up. Hope, I mean. Move on and don't let it haunt you but don't ever give up hope that they're still alive. I guess it might be easier to treat them like they're-like they're gone but..." He pursed his lips, carefully thinking about what he was about to say.
"But what if they're still alive somewhere, and they don't know if you're okay. Or me. If I could say one thing to them then I'd tell them I'm okay. And what if that's what they want to say to you? What if they're somewhere and they're completely okay, and what if one day they find their way back to us?"
By now he was trying desperately not to lose control of his emotions and to keep a steady expression, but at his last words his mask cracked a little and ended with an almost inaudible whimper.

"After all, I did. I came back."

[Paint]

Rose kept her dark eyes on Bion the entire time, through every word he said. She felt as if her body was freezing up as she listened to his speech. She felt as if she wanted to break down, to spill out her heart right there and then- but Rose knew better than that. And that simply wasn't her style.

No, instead of breaking down, she slowly iced over. She became mostly expressionless, save for the sadness in her eyes as she kept them on the son that she'd lost. His words cut right into her, but even after he had stopped she did not speak. She waited a little, wondering how best to phrase it. She could only imagine how Bion must feel about her, but he did not know that he could break her just as easily, if not more easily. Her pups were her entire world, and that world had already been ripped apart once before.

"I don't mean to sound patronising, but I think... you'll understand when you have your own pups. It haunts me every second of every day, the fact that I have lost them. I never give up hope, but I am a realistic wolf. I know now that it is not so simple," she spoke softly, but clearly. She was referring with her last sentence to getting Bion back- but only in flesh, not in soul. She finally took her eyes off him and looked down again at the two little ones. "This time, no matter what happens, I intend to do a better job of protecting my pups. Come hell or high water, I refuse to lose a litter again."