no where is paradise [open]

[arbie]

It was around this time of the day when wolves began to return to the dens with the intent on sharing kill with friends and family. When they returned to share their day’s adventure. When they returned to just have a friendly chat with familiar faces, rather than work and patrol and fight. Myu, surprisingly, had been at the dens since the afternoon, and as the sun slowly began to fall, the female snorted and rested her head on her paws. She had been lying just outside the den’s entrance and basking in the sunlight to ignore the kicks of the pups. She grunted in discomfort, glancing at her stomach before looking back ahead, tail slapping the ground in annoyance. It was also around this time she ever regretted having pups, though it was part of her duty as Alpha. She didn’t enjoy it, but she’d stick through it for Duke. The things she’d do for him were outstanding for Myu. He should be grateful, the big lug.

However another kick brought her back to reality, and she sighed heavily. Soon it would be dark, and she would have to make her way into a deep cave to get some rest. She could hear the running water of the Springwater Cave, and her ears rolled round to see if she could get a better listen. They were relaxing. And though she’d never say it out loud, Myu was sure it calmed her unborn pups. Maybe that was just her. At least no one could prove her wrong on the matter, for she was the only one that could tell. And talking about pups seemed ridiculous to her, she would never share what names she wanted and what gender she preferred to other females. Names had come up in her mind, and she would be sure to speak with Duke when the time was right, but for now she kept it to herself. Luckily, Myu wasn’t known as the most chattiest wolf, so no one really tried to approach her on the subject.

Names. I suppose I should think of some at some point. Hmm…
Intent on keeping herself there for now and getting lost in her thoughts, Myu was interrupted by the sound of someone approach. She rolled her eyes and raised her head, but kept herself in her relaxed laid down position for now. Whoever it was this deep into the territory had to be Falling Moon.

[Paint]

Duke was tired. He was always bloody tired. Angry at the world, once again, for the aches in his back, his lips raised over his teeth as the rolled carelessly towards the dens. Myu's scent entered his nose and it was like coming home, and as he rounded a corner he saw her already looking in his direction. His lips dropped, his muscles relaxed. He proudly looked at her round tummy. He was sure that she didn't want or like pups, strangely he felt more parental than she did. His tough old heart always expanded with a new addition to his family, and although he rarely showed it, he would truly lay down his life for his family. His own rejection as a pup had made him go in completely the opposite direction- overprotection.

"Are you sure you should be lying in the sun?" he vaguely scolded, but knew that Myu would not listen to him anyway. She probably knew best, but his irritation hadn't quite subsided. He had a habit of pressing his mood onto others.

He flopped down beside her, briefly nuzzling her as he passed. He had his moments for affection, but now in the middle of his lands, in the bright sunshine, when he'd been checking the borders all day... was not one of them. She knew how he felt about her, and that was bloody enough for right now. He rolled his shoulders back, trying to stretch the irritation out of them, before turning his dark eyes back to her again.

"How are you? And them?"

[arbie]

Seeing that it was Duke, her lips twitched into a smile. She felt like a young silly yearling that had a crush, but she didn’t want to avoid Duke or anything. She watched as Duke approached, and hearing his deep voice almost pester her, she let out a chuckle. Myu was surprisingly at ease nowadays. She was feeling too tired and bloated to be fierce and intimidating, though there was no denying she could still verbally abuse someone to be terrifying. She moved to sit up slightly in a more comfortable position and she glanced up at the sky.

“I’m fine here.” she said stubbornly, though it was probably a predictable response. Myu smirked when he nuzzled her, and she returned the nuzzle slightly. Though she wasn’t eager to physically show her appreciation. They both knew they loved each other, and heck, having his pups was probably the most physical way Myu could show Duke she was devoted to him. Though ‘devoted’ was a strong word, it was probably honest. Myu appreciated the fact Duke even let her return when her old mate died. Not that ‘mate’ was the right word for… Oh, damn. What was his name again? Myu couldn’t even remember.

She hesitated at the question. She felt sick, she felt sore. Her bones were aching, and she wasn’t entirely sure that was because of the pregnancy.

“They’re fine.” she began, almost grunting, glancing at her stomach, “They kick, though I suppose that’s a good thing. I don’t think… There are too many. But there’s more than one.”

Myu could care less about how many were there, but she had a feeling Duke would be interested. She glanced at him, dark eyes now curious. Was Duke going to be a better parent than herself? Surely the mother should be the kind, nurturing one? Yet, whenever Myu thought about her pups, she felt nothing but disinterest.

“It should be any day…” she claimed, but wanted to change the subject, “And what about you? How’re you?”

[Paint]

Duke listened with a lot more interest than he wished to show. His dark eyes were curious to hear what she had to say about the pups, and herself of course, but he chuckled at her predicted stubbornness. Still, she seemed softer, calmer, in her current state. He wondered if motherhood would soften her as fatherhood softened him.

Not too many... good, Duke thought. As much as he loved each and every single on of the seven pups he had had with Anevay, it was too much to keep track of. Additionally, it was far too much to lose. Onisim, Rose and Tallulah were all he had left from them. But he didn't want to think about the past now. The future.

He watched as she changed position. She looked uncomfortable, and not just from pregnancy. He wondered if they had made a mistake. Neither Myu nor he was particularly young any more. Was it safe to still be having pups? Shut up, we're not dead yet, he growled to himself.

"Good good. I'll stick around, then, close to the dens. Do you need me to send someone out for a hunt?" he asked. Although he was perfectly capable of catcing a rabbit by himself, he would've much preferred to get Justyn to round up the lot of them and go after a couple of young moose. Bring a bigger prize home to Myu, simply from authority.

"I'm fine," he responded, glancing out across the lands. He inhaled briefly to see if he could scent anyone nearby, but luckily they seemed to be alone. He let down his guard slightly. "I'm sensing something. You know how the ground seemed to be vibrating before the Uprising?" he paused, gazing down at the stones beneath his body. "I feel as if something's going to happen. Whether it's the Stars, although they have no reason to do anything right now, surely they've got pups as well... and then again, it could be from within us."

He snapped back to reality slightly, pulling away from his stream of consciousness. But he wasn't stupid, and nor was Myu, and he felt as if she might understand his worry. He looked over at her and there was a slight sadness in his eyes. He was probably past his prime now. He no longer felt the urge to kill each and every one of his enemies. The thought of taking over the Stars again seemed exhausting. And all of this was evident in his dark, intensely brown eyes.

"I won't make you do this again," he changed the subject quickly, looking away across the lands again. He looked back at her round tummy so that she would understand. "Perhaps we should not have now, but I felt as if it was the right thing to do. If you don't want to next year, we won't. If there is a next year," he finished darkly. He could tell from his tone that he was far more suspicious than he was letting on.

[arbie]

She listened to him speak. Myu was always content when Duke spoke, no matter the subject. However, as he went on, she seemed to feel a bit awkward. As much as she loved this wolf, she couldn’t really be on the same level as he was when it came to feelings. Not emotions, but feelings like he was having. That something was going to happen. No doubt she did feel them too, but she never thought about them like Duke seemed to. Myu rather liked to avoid those kind of things, but now that Duke brought them up, she would think about it.

And she did feel it. The tension in the air, the rumbling of action as it waited to pounce for the right moment. A sprout of nervousness blossomed within her for her pups, and she glanced at her stomach. She then looked back at Duke, tutting a little.

“I know what you mean.” she nodded, but she wasn’t sure how to continue. If there was another uprising, could Duke really hold his own? Myu’s first thought was that she definitely could, but as she thought it over, she bitterly re-thought her position. Depending on the time, she may have just had pups. And, unfortunately, she was not immune to aging and feeling the ache in her bones. She looked down at her paws as she thought, though still listened to Duke.

“Don’t be ridiculous.” she snorted, looking at him, “You seem so down. There will be a next year. Though having pups isn’t what I enjoy, it’s what I do. If next year it comes to it, then we will.”

Most of what she was saying was coming from hope rather than fact. She wasn’t sure if there would be a next year. She didn’t want to have any more pups. She didn’t want to do it. But it wasn’t all about her, and Myu didn’t like being subjected to important choices like this. Despite being Alpha also, she left most decisions to Duke. Perhaps she was just now noticing that she wasn’t exactly fit to be Alpha. She needed to stop leaning on Duke and start making decisions.

Regretting her words, Myu spoke.

“Though I do feel… We’re past that time.” she spoke, referring to having pups. But she raised her head indignantly, nudging him gently in the process, “But you will be here next year. And so will I.”

As Alphas? Who knows. Myu now just wanted to be alive next Spring.

[Paint]

There was something about the way that Myu spoke to him that Duke loved. She was so abrupt, so blatant, and the only wolf he wouldn't kill for making him feel stupid. And he did feel slightly silly. Rumbles in the ground, sure... but he was being very suspicious. Of his own pack. He was losing confidence, and he realised that Myu could see this. It wasn't terrible masculine.

He laughed, the air lifting around him as he did. She was so down-to-earth, it was like a breath of fresh air. He was all dark auras and hidden meanings, and she cut straight through all of the bullsh*t and told him to get his act together. Just with a single look.

"We'll be fine," he agreed, nodding. He glanced at her tummy again, and instead of fearing for his own life or position, he felt riled up to do everything in his power to hold onto his power. Why was he worrying about the aches in his back? It just made him all the more invincible. He had less to lose as he grew older. He wouldn't be missed, which meant he was hardly to be scared of dying. He smiled wickedly, and in the wickedness there was a strong affection in his eyes for Myu. She truly brought out the devil in him.

"We won't have pups next year," he decided, but his tone was light. He knew Myu, she wasn't truly suited for this sort of thing. "But these ones... I wonder what they'll be like. They're so much better when they're young and weak and you can control them. Then they get older and think they know better and try to kill you," he laughed darkly, but the smile that followed showed that he wouldn't take Onisim's challenges seriously... not yet, anyway.

[arbie]

Hearing him laugh made Myu smile to herself smugly. She enjoyed making Duke a bit more happier, and it made her proud that she could make Duke laugh. She was sure not many could, though one wolf that came to mind was Rose. She was closest to Duke of all his children (in Myu’s eyes) and sometimes she imagined she would need to fight with Rose for Duke’s attention. Not physically obviously, but try and spend enough time around Duke to have him think more about him than Rose. Not that she was jealous, no. She was fine if Duke paid more attention to Rose. Nope, never.

Hearing him say that made Myu nod and she rested her head on her paws comfortably, and the news of not having pups next year had a load off her shoulders already. She was evidently happy at this news, though she winced as a pup kicked her stomach. She was definitely due any day now, which was the reason she stuck by the dens. She glanced at her stomach and then looked at Duke, and she chuckled.

“Try harder this time, then.” she shrugged gently, “And they’ll have to go through your older pups.”

Myu didn’t feel condescending by calling his children pups. Of course they were adults now, with strong individual minds. But she guessed that Duke also saw them as his pups, no matter how old they got. It was just something about parents, she supposed. She looked at her stomach, wondering if she’d be the same. But, she still felt a horrible pang in her mind and stomach when she even considered being a loving, doting mother that gave her children advice.

“I’ve been trying to think of names.” she stated, looking at him again. Perhaps he already had some in mind?

[Paint]

Duke watched Myu wince, and his heart went out to her. But part of him was slightly bewildered. Weren't females made for this? Genuinely genetically programmed to go ga-ga at the thought of pups? He wondered whether Myu would make a good mother. It wasn't necessary, actually, within the Moons. They had to be tough either way, and if they weren't, they would drift away. His mind went to Iris and suddenly he felt very guilty that he left her out of all of his family business. But he toughened up quickly. Of course he loved her, but she'd chosen her path. It was separate. They were all so different, he sighed inwardly.

"Names..." he responded vaguely, coming back to the situation from his scattered thoughts. He frowned. Fitting names weren't generally his forte. "I'd probably have to see them first. I wonder how many we're having. I wonder if they'll look more like me or you."

The black and white of Duke's fur seemed to run strongly through his family links, but that did not mean Myu's colour would not also be present. He liked to think one of them might look like her. Onisim, who looked very much like Duke, had ended up as a disappointment to him, so he wouldn't want another one to look like him. Far too much expectation.

"I don't suppose you care much for their names," he chuckled. He rolled onto his back, sunning his black stomach. It wasn't often you found Duke so totally at ease, but without any judgemental pack members, he truly was. Here with Myu was what he enjoyed. Having reached the top, he really didn't need to worry much about life. Apart from the occasional threat of death, that was, but what else was a bear-like wolf made for but fighting?

[arbie]

Myu pondered about the subjects he brought up. Part of her was actually curious to see how they would turn out, and she smirked a little. She noticed Duke’s duotone colours seemed to run in the family, though Onisim and Iris came to mind; they both held the colours of their mother too. Perhaps there was some hope for Myu’s fur after all. Not that hers could be considered beautiful or unique. Silver and a tan-ish brown wasn’t so interesting.

She nodded as he spoke. That made sense, and waiting for them to be born took a bit of weight off her shoulders. Even so, she would prepare names in her head. She didn’t want to name any after her family, that would be weird for Myu. She wasn’t close to any of them anyway, so there would be no point. These pups would be original and unique to themselves. And hopefully looked unique, too. However Myu decided not to concentrate too much on their features: looks weren’t everything, if anything, for the female.

Myu chuckled when he suggested names weren’t important to her. She shook her head. She was never afraid of lying to Duke; Myu would always be sure to be honest with him, if not sometimes brutally so. He could handle a few truths about her, and he also knew her better than anyone else in the pack.

“So long as they can fend for themselves and give a good fight.” she answered, holding back a yawn until she was finished, “There will be no babying.”

Not that she wasn’t going to care for them when they were pups. She would help them find their paws and hunt and run, but for the most part as they grew up, Myu felt like she’d be nothing but a burden to them. Not that she was looking down on herself; she just knew it would be more helpful to everyone involved if she let them become independent.

She also didn’t want another Tallulah.

[Paint]

Duke chuckled. It was funny, how he and her had ended up like this. If you'd asked him three years ago where he would be, he would never have guessed lying beside Myu with her belly round. His thoughts briefly stopped on Anevay, but he was far past that now. She was gone now, he did not know where or how. He did not care.

He lumbered up to his feet, stretching out his great body and moving a little closer to Myu. He lay down beside her, on her other side, feeling a little affectionate. Frankly, he did not care if any pack member approached him right now, he was in his little bubble. He thought back to how he used to be. His anger stayed with him, but the reasons were always changing. What had once been never feeling good enough, and the murderous instinct that rose from that... it was now replaced with a sickening kind of protectiveness.

"Good," he replied, chuckling again. His voice was deep, always sounding dark, even when the subject matter was light. "It's inevitable anyway. They learn to fight. They're either strong, fast or smart, in my opinion. No wolf has three, most don't even come near two. I, for example, am strong."

He was very aware that he was admitting his weaknesses. But his light tone, lying beside the strong female he loved, it all added up. Right now he did not care. The earthquake was far behind them, and he was not going to spend any more time dwelling on the past. The future was coming, and it was right there in the swollen tummy of the wolf he loved.