justyn/es;; the sun in its jealous sky

[Paint]

many years have passed
since those summer days
among the fields of barley
see the children run
as the sun goes down
as you lie in fields of gold

Es hadn't made it to any sort of good shelter when she fell asleep deep under the snow, not knowing when the weather caved in around her and left her completely snowed in under the roots of a tree. She was too busy for real life. She was having a dream.

It was kind of beautiful, really. The sun was shining down and warming her fur, lighting her eyes as she followed Midnight walking towards the water. Her mother was leading her, and Kazu was in front of her as well. If she turned around, she could see Justyn and Pitt as well. They were happy. Midnight glanced back as they reached the water, sides of her mouth pulling up into that beautiful, familiar smile. Es's brothers tumbled over each other to get to the water, and Es followed suit, recalling her love for water as she dove past them into the shallow reaches of the lake.

And then, like the strongest beacon of light she could ask for, Caerwyn was there. Strong, handsome, responsible but easy to love. Bright yellow eyes gazing lovingly at Midnight, he jumped straight into the water and played with her brothers and she watched as she paddled further out into the depths. It was calm around her.

But then something happened. The coldness of the water began to seep through to her bones, making her shiver, clouding her view. She tried to call out to her mother, father, and brothers. But the only one who looked up was Justyn. He stared at her, and then jumped forwards into the water after her, panicking as she was as she started to sink. All of the gold of the dream was fading into a deep, dark blue. And Justyn's voice faded out as Esmerelda drowned.

She woke up suddenly, fighting against the water around her, before she realised she wasn't underwater. Just surrounded by snow. Her heart began to hammer as she tried to manouever around, searching for an escape, howling out in panic after a disturbing dream. And now she was trapped beneath a thick tree, snowed in, desparately crying out for help as she began to dig at the snow. The more she dug at it, the more snow fell in on top of her, and soon she was too cold to continue. She curled up, whimpering at the loss of the golden dream and the realisation that she'd pushed away the only brother she had left.

you remember me
when the west wind moves
among the fields of barley
you can tell the sun
in its jealous sky
when we walked in fields of gold

[[Midnight]]

He had missing pieces in his heart that could never be replaced.
Holes that would likely never be fed and filled.
Rips that would never be safely and completely sutured.

But he was living a good life right now, he couldn't deny. He had a friend and only one friend and that was all he needed. He was living by his own rules, despite what Duke or anyone else thought. As long as he lived in this valley and but kept generally to himself, dwelling on the past in order to change his future, he was doing exactly what he felt was right and was best for himself.

But, still... Would the regrets never go away?
He had family alive, a beautiful older sister and an uncle who was a true friend of the 'old' family. It was a shame that Justyn had to offend them, too.

He sighed to himself as the depressing thoughts devoured his mind while he wandered. Like they always did. It was the fuel to his forest fire; someday he would burn out, and when he did, who would be left standing in the empty wastelands he created for himself?
He had said cruel things to Esmerelda, his sister, and he was regretting it, like the way most of his decisions usually ended. Now it was just Rose in his life, who had a mate and a hopeful future with or without Justyn in it. He couldn't help but feel a little second place. Just a bit.

As his huge paws crunched through the snow banks, keeping him probably less than knee-deep, his ears twitched and swiveled as he began to pick up some unusual sounds from somewhere near by.
It sounded like some sort of weird scuffling, but he didn't undertand just where it was coming from. He angled his head and ears to catch the frequency perfectly until eventually his head was slightly c0cked towards the ground. That was when he faintly heard the squeals and whimpers, and his heart raced when all noises soon ceased. Now he got it, some unfortunate idiot had gotten buried beneath some snow.

He decided to be a gentlemen and dig them up. Maybe one good deeds could make up for a lifetime of sin- HA.
He sniffed around the area, striding in the direction from which the scuffling came from. That was when his nose bumped into a tree trunk, and he cursed under his breath, staring down at the snow upon which he was standing.

"Hello?" he called out, staring and listening for a moment. Then he began to swipe his paws and clear away pile after pile of the frozen water, hoping in the back of his mind that it was indeed a wolf he had heard and not anything else with fangs.

[Paint]

Es's eyes fluttered open slightly as she shivered back into consciousness. She'd been slipping in and out for a few minutes, but apparently, someone had heard her pleas. She could hear, and then see, as the snow began to shift above her. She backed up slightly, vaguely hearing a voice although it was terribly muffled through the snow.

"Hello," she called back, coughing and trying to regain her voice. "Thank you," she called again, bright green eyes looking up hopefully at the snow as it shifted. There was no space in here for snow, she was surrounded and soaked through to the freezing core. She swallowed hard, waiting.

A shaft of light appeared through the shifted snow and she reached up, pushing her nose through and trying to pull herself together. She dug at the snow around her, heaving herself through as the opening became larger and eventually fell apart. After scrambling out, she lay on the snow outside and took deep breaths, finding the air very clear and sharp and cold down her rasping throat. She blinked up once, twice, again before realising exactly who was standing beside her.

[[Midnight]]

The snow was clearing away quite quickly, but it was almost a little bittersweet for him. Now he might have to socialize with the wolf he rescued. Pretty soon stories would be spreading around the two packs about 'the hero Justyn' and he'd never be able to show his face again.
He chuckled at his own silly imagination.

When he saw the nose of the trapped specimen, he backed away to give them some room, staying calm but still a little weary of having company. He was certainly a Falling Moon at heart now, not wanting to be bothered with new things.

Then her face emerged. A number of things happened.

First, his heart fluttered and proceeded to stop - that was cetainly what it felt like. Then after he overcame the freezing point, he began to panic, helping to undig the rest of her cold body, not worrying now whether or not they were on good terms. Once she was out in the sunlight and lying down for some air, he struggled with what to do next. Should he help warm her up? Did she not want to be touched? Should he run away now while he had the chance?

He took a deep breath. Maybe this was a sign. Maybe it was time for some apologies.

"Es, I'm glad I found you when I did," he admitted in relief. His voice quivered a bit, but it was hard to catch. He didn't want to look scared. Why should he?

He decided to forget about whether or not she wanted to be touched by him. He carried himself around her and squeezed in tight next to her side, hoping to share some body warmth with her.
How ironic that he should stumble upon his sister here, and in trouble! He closed his eyes, imagining what might have happened if he had decided to stay in Falling Moon territory today.

"What happened to you?"

[Paint]

Esmerelda coughed a little, shivering, and when Justyn offered her body warmth she snuggled into his side. It was very natural, and she was reminded that she'd always loved her brother. Traitor or not, they were bonded by blood and half a puphood of memories. The kind of things you don't easily forget.

Reality was easy enough, you could run and hide and avoid those you didn't want to see. You could hole up somewhere in the middle of nowhere and escape because reality was endless if you ran far away enough. It was dreams that followed you, memories that haunted you and heartache that killed you slowly in the dead of night when you remembered what you'd lost.

"A lot has happened to me," she whispered vaguely, closing her brilliant green eyes and relaxing her shivering muscles. "Why did you go away, Justyn? It's always been in my nature to run. But what happened to you?" she whispered.

[[Midnight]]

Justyn felt an overwhelming sense of calm overcome him as his sister snuggled up against him and spoke. So she was past being angry at him. And he was past that, too. So he swiped his tongue across her damp cheek and began to think about Es's question. What really did happen to him? It wasn't something that could be totally explained in words, as much as he had tried with Rose. But he felt as if he owed her some sort of heartfelt explanation, so he cleared his throat quietly and looked at his paws.

"If I had known that you were still alive, maybe things would be different," he admitted. True, he might still be angry, confused - but he wouldn't have felt so trapped in a corner. He wouldn't have thrown his life to Duke and followed him to the new Falling Moon. At least, that's what he figured. Who knows. The earthquake changed a lot of things.

"My nature used to be to laugh and make people smile. But when I walked away from Mom after she gave her life for mine, I changed. I started to fight."
He blinked hardly, his ears slightly laid back. Nothing about that had changed, either. He would still always be fighting. Whether or not it was fighting for something or for nothing.
"I'm sorry that I let you own," came the humiliating words, under his breath. He shifted his weight underneath the snow.

[Paint]

Esmerelda listened carefully, sadly to Justyn's words. She felt the full force of every emotion thrown into those words, subtly weaving between all the feelings they'd never had a chance to say to each other. Es was reminded of the feeling of what it was like to lose everyone she loved all at once... getting Justyn back hadn't been the sweet reunion she'd ever imagined.

"You didn't let me down, Justyn, it wasn't your fault," she found herself saying, in a voice which sounded a lot more like her mother's than she'd ever realised before. She blinked up at Justyn sadly.

"We both got lost along the way. Maybe we can find a way to stay together from now on," she suggested softly, and sighed gently. She knew somewhere in her subconscious that her mind was craving a new place, new adventure and most of all a fresh start. So she felt the need to add a little more to her previous statement, in the softest voice. "However far I run, Justyn, you'll always be in my heart."

[[Midnight]]

Justyn, too, listened to her voice and heard the eerie familiarity. Suddenly he remembered just how much he really did miss his old family, especially his mother. What an amazing miracle that he had Esmerelda again! And if she was alive... What about Pitt? Kazuki? The possiblities were too much for him to think about at the moment.
As long as Caerwyn wasn't. That would surely be too much for Justyn.

He started to groom the dampness out of his sister's fur, but while she spoke to him he kept his ears perked so she knew he was listening with his undivided attention. He would definately try to keep in touch with her. Maybe he wasn't the old "Fire Prince" he once thought he was, not so long ago.
Don't get too comfortable, he thought to himself.

"Run?" he asked, lifting his head back to get a good look at her face. What reason would she have anymore to run? What was her life like these days? With those two questions he began to ask himself a million more.
"I don't fully understand what you mean, but I know you also have a place in my heart, too. And if you ever look over at the horizon towards Falling Moon, you don't need to feel sorry for me. It's not all bad. Maybe one day I'll be leading them.."