shy kind of guy. /open

[arbie]

look out on a summer's day
with eyes that know the
darkness in my soul.
Shadows on the hills
sketch the trees and the daffodils

Sometimes he wondered about things. Sometimes it was big things, sometimes it was small things. Whatever it was, it was always important to him. Whether it was how his fur was coloured, or where his family was now. It had been a year and a half since he had been in the Valley, and not many other people seemed affected. Why was Roan so gloomy about this? Why couldn’t he forget about it like any normal wolf would? Every time he wondered that, his heart ached at the idea of forgetting about Dancing Stars. Roan had reasoned with himself many times that he wouldn’t really be forgetting them, he’d just be moving on. Moving on was difficult for him. He had met Esmerelda and Justyn. They weren’t with him, though. He had a bad feeling about Justyn. He was worried for him. Esmerelda didn’t seem changed at all, and he was jealous. Roan wanted to be like her. Care-free. Why wasn’t he like her? Where did she get her personality from? He thought of Midnight. God.

Roan had got up earlier than the others this morning. He hunted, he attempted to socialize, but failed and went off wandering on his own, he had a nap, he watched others carefully and explored the pack-land again. Roan had tried to run around for a bit in the afternoon, but his leg had begun to ache. Lord. Roan’s leg had been acting up a lot nowadays. He would happily call it some aftershock of some sort, but pains like this didn’t really happen a year after the incident. He remembered feeling tiny pains travelling, but didn’t bother with them. Roan made his way to the dens, forced to limp slightly because of the pain. Good god, had all the work on his legs throughout the year must’ve been leading up the this. Why couldn’t Roan see it? Oh yeah, because he wasn’t normal.

Limping to the dens, he slowly sat down in front of an empty one. He gazed up at the sky, trying to ignore the cold wind. He would go into the den, but he wasn’t very sleepy, and Roan wasn’t just going to lie there day after day. His gaze slowly moved from the sky to the empty clearing, hoping it would fill up slowly quite soon. His leg hurt still, but the pain was dying down. Roan looked round at it, and it was a bit swollen.
Eep.

[Paint]

Bandit often felt a sense of uselessness, or hopelessness, as she wandered around these lands which she thought by right should be hers. Sure, technically it was a new valley with new faces. But from deep within her bones something told her that she couldn't just reside as an everyday pack member for long. She'd start telling others, one by one, of how she assumed she should be in charge. By her father's dead right, she should be the one giving orders here. She felt so utterly useless being a Delta.

So she had to make herself somehow useful, even if no one knew she was doing it. Checking there was a safe path from the dens to the water for pups, moving a precarious-looking rock from the edge of the cliff, chasing down a fat rabbit and carrying it back to the clearing in case anyone was hungry. The latter she was currently doing now, heart still pounding against her ribcage because it had taken one hell of a run. Like her father, she seemed to rest right towards the middle of speed and strength in a way which meant she could pull off both if she put sufficient effort into it.

So as she padded back to the dens, she had to notice Roan studying what seemed to be a quite swollen leg. She frowned with concern. She knew all about Roan, how Quianna had made one of the worst mistakes possible (but Bandit was not going to judge), and yet did not know him at all. More to the point, he probably didn't know of her at all. She continued towards him, dropping the rabbit and sitting down slowly.
"Hungry?" she asked slowly.

[arbie]

Roan was too busy studying his leg to notice Bandit come into the clearing. If he looked hard enough, he could see the outline of the scar the rock had left, or maybe he was just imagining it. He frowned and looked up just in time to see Bandit in front of him, and the rabbit she offered him. He was, actually, and he let a smile twitch. He stared at Bandit, studying her eyes. Something about them reminded him of something… Someone. Xaka. The black fur also reminded Roan of Xaka. He stared at the female, his mind becoming like rubble. What was this? Some sort of trick? It felt like he was staring at Xaka with snow on him.

No. That was just silly. Roan forced himself to think logically.
“Yes. Thank you.” he answered, keeping his voice steady. He finally took his eyes off her to the rabbit and bit down once, eating slowly. He tried to make sense of two plus two, but it wasn’t really working. He looked back up at her, licking the blood from his maw.
“I’m Roan.” he said, not knowing she knew who he was. He sat straight, “And you are…?”
If he heard her name, then maybe he’d know. Hopefully he would.

[Paint]

Bandit watched as some sort of realisation entered into his eyes. He seemed vague, though, and was asking her who she was. She would feel disheartened that nobody recognised her, but honestly nobody should. Roan hadn't even been alive when Bandit was there. She felt quite old, and put out at this factor. The side of her mouth twisted into discontent.

"I'm Bandit," she responded clearly. This would mean nothing to him. She doubted her father or siblings even mentioned her after she was gone. This made her sad, but it made sense. They probably hadn't mentioned her other three siblings who had left either- she wasn't that special, wolves moved on all the time. "Nice to meet you, Roan," she tacked on, in a way which suggest she was going to add more to that statement. Perhaps finally between 'to' and 'meet'.

[arbie]

Bandit. Roan made sure to keep that in mind, but he had never heard of her before. Still, something about her was, if anything, creepy. Her eye-colour was what got to Roan the most. He took another bite from the rabbit so he didn’t seem rude. Taking a few more bites, he quickly thought of what to say as he looked back at her, making sure all the blood was off his fur.
“Nice to meet you too.” he said, almost unsurely. Usually he wasn’t so forward with things like this, but after meeting someone that looked like your father-fugure, you’d be curious too.

“I’m sorry. I must seem a little… Dazed. Or at least creepy.” he said, looking away from Bandit, then slowly back at her, “Sorry.” he said again. He looked down at the rabbit, his expression showing much gratitude.
“Such random acts of kindness is quite rare. What made you feel the need to offer me a meal?” he asked, making sure his tone said nothing but ‘thank you’ or something similar.

[Paint]

Bandit frowned again. Why was Roan, who had been in the Stars all his life, not used to acts of random kindness? Had all the Stars stood for crumbled into nothingness? It made her slightly angry, what had Caerwyn done to them before the earthquake? Or was it just the earthquake which had shattered all good will between wolves?

So many questions spun around in her mind.

"It's..." Bandit begun, and then stopped herself. She wasn't going to lie, because she hated to lie and was the last wolf to be caught doing it. No, she wanted to be honest without spitting out her entire life plan. Collecting her thoughts, she tried again. "It's a little complicated and long-winded to explain. I want to help the pack and make it great again."

The surge of pride in her voice for the old pack she'd been a part of for only a short time in her life was not hard to notice. Her chest swelled with pride when she thought of the wonderful pack her father had created and nurtured, no matter what had happened to it since then.

[arbie]

Roan tilted his head, waiting for Bandit to continue. He was curious. Sure, he was used to getting a meal from others, but that was before the earthquake. After that, he was just left to fend for himself seeing as he was travelling with mainly Falling Moons. After that, he was usually on his own in the new pack, so it was a little surprising for him.
“Well, I’m not going anywhere.” he said, gesturing to his swollen leg, “If you want to explain it to me, I’ll listen.” he offered. Perhaps if Bandit explained, then Roan would know he was right in what he was thinking.

Make the pack great again. Did that mean she wanted to take over? Or at least something similar. She wants to help the pack. Roan stared at her, and she had that air of dominance around her again. She had to be related to Xaka somehow, she had to. This was no coincidence, there had to be something to it. Wait. Again? That meant she was here some time ago. Or perhaps in Dancing Stars…
“This may seem really weird, but I have to say this. Bandit, you remind me of Xaka.”
He didn’t explain who Xaka was, because he had a feeling she knew who he was.

"Can you explain to me why?"

[Paint]

Bandit considered his swollen leg with sympathy. Perhaps she could offer to help him from time to time, if his leg was bad. Yes, that would be a good way to spend her time as she chose the right time to confront Caden. She wanted to help Roan, he was one of those vague ties she had to the old pack.

When he said that simple statement, that she reminded him of Xaka, she felt a sense of elation rush through her. She knew someone would eventually see, notice the bright amber eyes and the power in her stance enough to piece two and two together. Roan was either very smart or very perceptive.

"I'm his daughter," Bandit finally replied, breathing out a sigh of relief when she said those words. Because she had reason to. He'd actually noticed, she could feel relieved and tell him now without acting like she was showing off. "Before he was mates with Quianna, his mate was Lotus- my mother. But she was ill and had to go away."

She sat down slowly, glad she could finally talk to someone in the pack about this.
"I was his eldest. I have five other siblings, but three of them left the valley very young to go travelling together. Then it was just me, Vesuvius and Shadow. Vesu and I were quite close, he recognised in me the need to help and lead the pack someday. I thought it was my destiny to do so. Shadow didn't pay much attention, she preferred to go off alone but was always happy."

"Then... and I mean no ill will towards Quianna in saying this. I don't hate her at all. But then, yes, my father decided he needed another Alpha beside him. Everyone knew he didn't love Quianna, including her, but I knew that he was fond of her. It wouldn't be long before they fell in love, I was sure."

"So I left. Vesu and Shadow stayed, and Vesu would go out of the valley every so often and howl for me. I hopped between other packs, and I was right. Xaka was in love with Quianna, eventually, and then they had a pup. It wasn't my fathers," she looked pointedly at Roan, but not accusingly. "But nevertheless he treated you so. They had their own pups too, Caerwyn and Prospero."

She sighed.
"Slowly the news from Vesuvius got worse and worse. It took only a year, and then my father was dead. That's when I told Vesuvius goodbye, and I ran so far away from Empyrean Valley I thought I'd reach the end of the world. News of the earthquake travelled to wherever I was, and when I came back I followed the trail of the string of survivors leading here. And I am convinced that Caden will not do a good enough job of leading this new pack. He had no idea of what Duke is capable of," her words had become fiercer now, matching her fiery eyes. She finished on this note, looking at Roan and wondering if he'd think she was crazy.

[arbie]

Roan stared. Xaka’s daughter. He had no idea Xaka had another mate before Quianna, but he showed no confusion, only understanding. He didn’t really know what he was understanding, but he was doing it. He got as comfortable as possible, knowing Bandit was going to explain basically everything so it would make sense for him.

Lotus. Lotus was such a lovely name, and he immediately wondered what the female looked like, and what type of female she was like. At first he imagined her to be like Quianna, but thought against that idea and went for someone totally different. Thin, graceful. Perhaps someone that didn’t fight, but was a runner. Yes, that would be nice. Beautiful, with lovely white and perhaps crème fur. Maybe. Roan zoned back into the world and listened to Bandit again. When she mentioned Shadow, it reminded Roan of himself. Always wondering off to be alone and to explore, but he was happy doing that. Roan felt like he could connect to Shadow already.

Roan almost grimaced when Bandit mentioned the wolf that wasn’t Xaka’s son. He didn’t. He just nodded, wanting her to continue. Roan always thought Xaka and Quianna loved each other since the beginning. He had no idea there was someone else before Quianna, nor did he know that there were other pups. But it did make sense when Roan thought about it. Kieriana always hated Quianna for some reason, and it explained where Ves came from. Roan had never talked to the wolf personally, but had seen him around.

Roan smiled a bit as she finished. He nodded in agreement.
“This pack is not Dancing Stars until you lead them… I believe.” he said. He knew her plan. It seemed like she wanted to be Alpha, to make Xaka proud, to do what she knew she was made for, and Roan agreed. He felt so happy to meet someone that was related to Xaka, which also meant she was related to Cearwyn and Prospero. He frowned at the mention of Duke. That… That… Roan refused to use a swear word, so he just left it at that.

[Paint]

"That means a lot," Bandit replied truthfully to his statement, unable to smile although she was happy he had understood her story. It felt better to have someone to talk to. Someone to connect with about her long-lost family, even if they weren't actually related. He'd known Xaka, and Caerwyn, and it was enough for Bandit.

"I can't believe I left it this long to rejoin the pack which I am most obviously tied to," she continued sadly, frowning as she turned away from Roan to look out over the clearing. "I can barely remember the old valley. I left when I was very young. And hearing about all of the scandal and woes from the outside was bad enough, I can't imagine having to live through it."

Her tone was quiet and sympathetic as she turned back to Roan. She honestly could not comprehend how much he must have gone through. Quianna must have been a good mother, to keep him this understanding throughout everything that had happened. She frowned, wondering if Quianna had died during the earthquake. She still had no idea of the terror Caerwyn had inflicted.

[arbie]

Roan smiled happily at Bandit, taking another quick bite from her catch. He listened intently, feeling more comfortable keeping quiet. He followed her gaze when she looked over the clearing, but he took another bite from the rabbit while she wasn’t concentrating on him. But then she had finished talking, and her hesitated, swallowing the last piece of meat he would be able to have for the moment.

“Well, I suppose… Hearing about your half-brother going mad would be a lot better than seeing it.” he mused, forgetting about the fact Bandit probably wouldn’t know about Caerwyn’s illness. He glanced at her unsurely, waiting for her reaction. Would she be disappointed? Would she know why he went mad? Probably not, but now that he thought about it, Roan felt determined to find out.

[Paint]

Bandit's ear flickered suddenly, and her face had a look of confused shock. Half-brother gone mad? Who? Caerwyn or Prospero?

With a deep, sick sort of realisation she knew it was Caerwyn. Somehow. She didn't know why, but it felt like things had been wrong in the valley long before the earthquake. Not just tension between the packs. Caerwyn had taken over too young, maybe.

She needed to know.

"Roan, I don't know what happened... I stopped talking to Vesuvius after my father died," she said quietly, sitting down. "What happened after Xaka died?"

[arbie]

So she didn’t know. Roan sighed sadly and thought over everything, remembering everything he could. He looked up at her with sad eyes, preparing himself. He forced himself not to cry.
“Caerwyn and Prsopero grew up… Almost normally. But Caerwyn started going strange. I don’t know, I think it was an illness. Maybe genetic.” he paused, thinking about it quickly, “He… he went insane… he killed Quianna…” his voice quivered, and he frowned at himself.

“Somehow Blade lost his memory.” Roan remembered that much, “Things just started going downhill… Caerwyn was kicked out the pack eventually. Midnight, the female Caerwyn fell in love with, led the pack until the earthquake.”* Roan remembered Justyn and Es, frowning. He sighed sadly, head hanging low.
“You’re lucky you weren’t there to see it.” he said, slowly looking at Bandit, “But you might make things better. No, I'm pretty sure you will."

Ooc|
if any of this is wrong, tell me XD

[Paint]

Bandit's heart lurched painfully against her ribcage and her expression contorted with grief. She couldn't believe it. Maybe she could have prevented it if she'd been there. I've been so selfish, she snarled at herself internally, wholly ashamed at her behaviour. Well, she was done with running away. She'd make things better.

"I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I wish I had been there, to help. I feel so... useless and ashamed," she admitted, frowning hard at the ground. She wasn't going to fabricate it- the Stars wolves should tell the truth. "I wish there was some way we could've saved Caerwyn. I can't believe he would kill his own mother," she felt like crying. Her uncle, lost his memory as well. So much bad in so little time.

[arbie]

Roan couldn’t hide the amount of sadness and emotion he felt. It showed in his eyes, his expression, his body language. His body seemed to almost deflate as he remembered everything. The argument with Quianna, the death of Xaka, Vixen, Carmine, Caerwyn… He attempted to straighten up, unable to even force a twitch of a smile, and looked at Bandit. He shook his head, as if saying she could have done nothing anyway, which was kind of true. These things happened naturally, a presence of one wolf could not change a death or madness.

“Don’t be.” he said, “You’re here now, you can help now. That’s what you want to do.” he said, with an almost apologetic tone. He nodded slightly, Roan still couldn’t believe it either. That was in the past, he had to keep telling himself that, but whenever he thought about it, it felt like it happened just yesterday. The pain would always be there, the memory would always haunt him.
As cliché as it sounded, it was all true.