Long Time Coming

[Malo]

It was getting colder. Winter had only just started, but the air felt cooler and the wind whipped harder than normal. The trees were now completely bare and dry, their once luscious foliage now crumpled on the ground in piles of brown, crisp death, waiting to be blown away bit by bit by nature's forceful breath. Jasmyne noticed her thickening coat and increased body fat. Autumn had definitely come and passed.

She meandered around the forest slowly, having no particular destination in mind. Just going wherever her paws carried her. When she reached the muddy banks of the stream, she stopped. Casting a wary eye across the stream, scanning the horizon, she sniffed the air cautiously. She was well within Stars territory, but after the Caden debacle...open spaces were no longer safe. What if the Moons decided to strike first and attack them in their own territory? She wouldn't put it past them.

Certain that the coast was clear and she was alone, she dipped her head to take a drink, then retreated back to the edge of the forest. Laying down on top of a cool rock, she surveyed the lands in front of her. Her mind had been a cluttered mess of emotions since their alpha was taken. Confusion, fear, uncertainty. The pack had rallied together, but time seemed to be dragging slowly. She feared their leader would not make it to the spring.

[Paint]

Esmerelda was trying not to let the tension in the air get to her. She spent much of her time alone, as usual, exploring the territory. She'd done her part, as far as she could tell, to get information from Bion. Having not seen or heard from him in a while she gathered he was behind enemy lines still, ready to send out a call when Caden was near the border. Some strange sinking feeling in her stomach warned her that it would not be so easy to retrieve their lost leader, but she pushed this aside and tried to continue as normal.

The tawny female had no issue with going into No Man's Land despite their recent loss. She still felt it was home, and part of her wanted to call it that. She wasn't a very good mother due to her utter discomfort with pack life. While she wanted to have a good relationship with her pups she found it awfully difficult to connect with them under all of this stress and trauma. No kind words escaped Esmerelda's mouth when she considered Bion's betrayal, only awkward silence. To be so surrounded by wolves that relied and depended on her did not suit her, and she had vowed to herself that she would not have pups again. It saddened her to realise that she had none of her kind, beautiful mother's maternal genes.

It was in this state of mind that Es was sneaking across the border again to enjoy solitude. She started when she saw Jasmyne. The tawny wolf knew that the female opposite was an old Stars wolf, having been raised in the same pack, but she wasn't sure if they'd even spoken since Jasmyne had arrived in Caden Valley. She wondered if the light wolf would even remember her, but her tail wagged a little as she said hello. She smiled and drank a little to make it seem as if that was her purpose in arriving at the border.

[Malo]

At the sight of the other she wolf Jasmyne gave a small, but welcoming smile. This wolf was no intruder, no enemy. It was Esmerelda, a friendly face in these trying times. Jasmyne had seen her a few times since joining the Stars as a pup and she could recall that Esmerelda, as well as a few others their age, had been in similiar situations. However, it seemed her peers didn't struggle with strange voices and "memories" when they were alone with their thoughts. She tried not to dwell on that subject too much though.

Standing up from her perch, she hopped down carefully and made her way to her fellow Delta. How long had it been since she'd actually had a conversation with one of her fellow packmates? She couldn't remember. The past few weeks had been spent trying to gain information on the Moons, training, and thinking of ways to steal Caden back from the clutches of their rivals. There hadn't really been any downtime since the incident, with everyone being on high alert. She noticed the shock of her packmate as she was spotted, but being a social creature, she chose to ignore it.

She dipped her head in greeting as she approached the river once more. Her golden brown eyes seemed to smile with her as she spoke. "How's life Esmerelda?"

[Paint]

Lapping her last sip of water, Es ran her shock of a pink tongue over her lips and turned to Jasmyne as she spoke. She greeted her with a warm smile.

"Oh, you know," she tipped her head a little from side to side as she spoke. "So-so."

Es tried to remember what she really knew of Jasmyne. They had both gone through the trauma of the earthquake, and were perhaps of similar ages. Es thought that they must only be a year or so apart in age, if not born in the same generation. She wondered a little at what had happened in the pale female's life after all of that trauma. Es thought about her fights with Justyn, losing her parents, starting her own family, seeing it all fall apart, losing Caden. She stared blankly for a minute in wonder. All of it seemed to have happened so quickly now.

"How are you? I haven't seen you for so long. We've all been, well, busy, I suppose," Es began to mumur at the end, frowning a little. She turned her bright green eyes to the other female again as she awaited an answer.

[Malo]

She nodded as her packmate spoke, understanding what she meant. No one could really feel great at a time such as this. She imagined that some were holding up better than others though, and although she was frightened of what the future held, she would keep her chin up through it all. "Busy is an appropriate term. I believe even the pups are training."

At this she frowned slightly, remembering Akiko's fireball response at the latest pack meeting. Although her spirit was to be admired, Jasmyne couldn't help feeling protective over all of the pack's young. They were getting older, stronger, but she believed that they had no place in the upcoming war. They shouldn't have to worry about such troubling matters; they should be enjoying the end of their first year of life. Jasmyne herself was no mother, but Esmerelda was. She wondered what her thoughts were on the matter, but she couldn't quite gadge whether or not it was a sensitive topic with her just yet. So she let it be.

Jasmyne tended to avoid the topic of family anyway, seeing as she had none of her own. For all she knew, they had abandoned her for reasons unknown. She couldn't remember her mother, or her father, or if she'd had any siblings at all. The oldest memory Jasymne really had was waking up in the cave near the edge of Caden Valley. She'd been all alone, yet surprisingly uninjured. She didn't remember how she'd gotten there or why. But the only way out was to Caden Valley, so she assumed that was where home was. But everything before that was a blur; try as she might, she could never reach into those distant memories. She figured that maybe it was better if she didn't know at all.

[Paint]

Esmerelda, unlike her pale-furred packmate, did remember. She remembered everything. Her fearsome manic father, her victimised mother, the earthquake, the distinct feeling of loss. The utter agony at finding Justyn behind enemy lines. Even her pups she barely knew, somehow keeping an unmotherly distance from them since bringing them into this world. The betrayal of her mate occasionally weighed on her mind too.

But you would never see any of this manifest itself in the tawny wolf's actions or words. Much of it had little effect upon her day-to-day. She had survived each pain and loss because she moved on with her life, living in the 'now'. And in her heart she knew that she would always run, always survive, always be a loner. That's why she knew that after this battle, no matter the outcome, she would return to her own company in No Man's Land. Visitors always welcome, but no ties, no bonds to speak of. Subconsciously she associated bonds with loss and pain, and wanted nothing more to do with it. Once she'd done her part, once she'd avenged their lost Alpha, in her poor mother's memory.

All of this was inside her and passed like a solitary gust of wind, in the blink of an eye.

"So I've heard. I attended some of the sessions myself. I'm not a fighter really," she shrugged, smiling. The look upon Jasmyne's face reminded Es that her own pups were among those training. She coughed a little. "I know it all sounds rather naive, but I think we can do it. If we all pull together. I mean, what do they really have to fight for? I assume if they wanted our land they'd have come and got it already."

Realising that she had spoken much more than usual, Es closed her muzzle and glanced around her once again. She finally rested her gaze back upon Jasmyne and settled herself into a slightly comfier position. No Man's Land could wait. She'd been waiting long enough for it; a conversation would not bother her patience now.