mad season; [Justyn?]

[Paint]

I feel stupid, but I know it won't last for long
And I've been guessin', and I coulda been guessin' wrong
You don't know me now, I kinda thought that you should somehow
Has that whole mad season got ya down?

Rose trailed about the Heathlands, furrowing her usually smooth white brow as she watched the ground slip by beneath her feet pace by pace. She'd been travelling the lands a fair bit for the past few days, a kind of elongated pacing backwards and forwards. Having spoken to her father recently she'd seen the tension in his face as his body ached, and it had scared her. Her barking questions as to why he was suddenly letting in soft wolves had barely been answered. Eventually he'd managed to tell her that if they were going to take over the whole valley, they might as well let the nice ones in too. Then he had sent her away.

Well, I feel stupid but it's something that comes and goes
And I've been changin', I think it's funny how no one knows
We don't talk about, the little things that we do without
When that whole mad season comes around

She's seen Caden recently too, hearing the natter of Caspian and Fallon nearby she had avoided. No doubt her half-siblings harboured intentions of running the pack someday. Fear caught her mid-step and she finally stopped. Frozen in the barren Heathlands Rose contemplated the terrifying words that her father had said. Her ears folded back and she sighed. What she really wanted, more than anything, was Justyn to find her. Perhaps a part of her had been searching for him as she paced through the lands. But at the same time, the things that she was thinking about she felt unsure as to whether she could tell Justyn. She'd always let the big hulking males in her life fight their own battles, but she was beginning to wonder if Duke could anymore. The thought of her father being physically weaker than Justyn scared the life out of her. She stayed still, all four paws planted firmly on the ground as she stared into nothing and let the wind buffet at her.

So why ya gotta stand there
Looking like the answer now?
It seems to me, you'd come around
I need you now
Do you think you can cope? You figured me out?
That I'm lost and I'm hopeless
I'm bleeding and broken though I've never spoken
I come undone in this mad season

[[Midnight]]

Life was returning to an unusual ease that he hadn't known for a while. With ease came confidence; a sort of unbreakable kind of confidence that was backed up by more than just anger. He had family now, and drive. He had purpose in his life again. Of all places, he had found it here with the Falling Moons.

There was still something nagging at the back of his mind. Caden's kidnapping. He refused to think about it. He had not formed any sort of opinion on it. He preferred now to keep as far away from pack buisness as necessary, while still holding his Beta position. This pack just about ran itself at times; when wolves preferred to keep to themselves, there was little need for social gatherings or organized hunts. If someone was hungry, they could beg for help; and anyone else who was hungry at the time could join in.

The pups were just about adults. Justyn found he enjoyed spending time with pups. He got very impatient at times, but he liked how they seemed to worship the ground he walked on. They admired his wit, his girth, they admired him for being able to train them. Not many, if any others, gave any attention to a pup in this pack. That's how he saw it, anyway. Somewhere in his subconcious, he may have been giving out some kindness that was leftover in his heart - or maybe it was for his own purpose, to gain followers. Another part of his Alpha bloodline still held on to its domineering spirit. He liked to be in control.

He had not heard from Rose lately. It was about time he found her again, just to see how she was doing. Raiden's death had certainly been hard for her, but he had been so surprised at how willingly she accepted it. It had been a huge release of burden for him to hear her say such a thing, but at the same time, he didn't fully trust her. Even if she could be herself around him, it didn't mean she never lied to herself at times, too. Losing someone you love was painful.

He had trouble tracking her the past few days. It seemed she was jumping from place to place in the territory. He was alarmed, but trying not to overreact. Rose could be quite the social butterfly when she wanted to; when she had a purpose.

He'd finally found a fresh trail in the heathlands and immediately followed it. By the time he found her, his tongue dangled from his mouth, dripping with perspiration, thought his spirits were lifted just by the sight of her. He bounded towards her in a puppish sort of way, certainly a testament to his good mood and his peaceful state of mind.

Justyn was so close to being cured of all his emotional trauma. He felt older, wiser. He knew he could still snap in anger at provocations, but there'd always be memories or faces to bring him back to his senses. He felt sure that he'd never lose himself again.

"Rose," he greeted affectionately, stopping when he was just a few tail-lengths away. As of yet he was oblivious to all her worries, whatever they were. After all, Rose had never been an open book.

[Paint]

She heard him before she saw him. All at once she had an overwhelming feeling that he was nearby, like he was filling her senses, and she heard his thudding lope as he approached her. Her body relaxed at his greeting, unfreezing. She had her audience, she could act.

"Justyn," she replied, smiling briefly but it was genuine. Part of her thought that as she had been searching for him, perhaps he had been searching for her too. They had a way of coming together like this. She watched him sink into view and she considered all of the thoughts swirling in her head whilst studying his gait and expression. He looked good.

"You seem very peaceable," she let a little coyness into her voice, lifting the atmosphere as she read his body and his eyes. She wondered what had caused this. Caden's kidnapping? She didn't think he was that involved really, but she could never be sure. Perhaps something good with Fallon? Rose felt the oddest moment as this thought crossed her mind, a feeling she knew of but would never admit to. Jealousy.

She brushed it aside, keeping her expression even and continued to think. Why else did he look so... confident? With a sharp stab of concern she wondered if he recognised Duke's weakness and a fleeting frown appeared. She let it go because she realised her trust in Justyn, as she saw him her face became blank again. But it was softer, the softness that she reserved for him alone.

[[Midnight]]

His tail was curled in a delighted greeting, as he panted in the heat. Autumn was upon them, but sometimes he felt his dark pelt was such a nuisance - he got over-heated quickly. He had not considered yet the season or what lay ahead. Harsh weather, extreme lack of food, a fight to survive. But also there was the natural instinct for blossoming romance, the inborn desire for companionship. He'd felt it last year, but was far too caught up in his own self and had resisted temptation. Perhaps it was naive of he and Fallon to be sharing a den. Perhaps he should be more thoughtful of the fact that nature had a way of forcing your hand whether you felt ready or not.

Looking at Rose now, with the moths and grasshoppers fluttering about them in the tall grass, made him feel he was still lacking something key in his life. Maybe there always would be a piece of Justyn's puzzle missing. Still, he felt happy, and it took a long moment of consideration as he looked deep into her dark eyes to see that she was not as unreadable as he thought. There were emotions swimming behind those eyes. It made him question what was she thinking when she studied him. Did she still see some lost soul of a pup? Or was he more than that now?

Had the fire prince burned out?

"I feel good," was his curious response. His pink tongue swiped across his nose before he shut his muzzle, his eyes looking far too serious simply because he couldn't think deeply without it showing on his features. "And what about you? Are you peaceable? And the pups..?"

Again, his thoughts turned to Raiden, the black male who had been so different from Justyn. He survived the earthquake just to have enough time to give life to Rose again before leaving this world.

[Paint]

"Ah, I see," she replied, each word leaving her black lips with much weight and thought, although she had a way of speaking that made it seem as if every word was loaded with meaning. It was her way. She considered his questions, ears folding back softly at the mention of her pups. Rose was a good mother, she knew that, but she was also distant recently. She liked to give them room to grow, but that also meant that she did not know where they were very often.

But there was Bion, of course, with whom she was angry. Despite his returning to the pack, he had made no effort to see her. The only possible way to accept that was if he did not believe that she was his actual mother. However, he had rejoined a pack he had forgotten he was part of. If he had not abandoned the Stars for his roots then Rose did not know what had changed her son. But she knew. She knew that he knew the truth now, as much as one can know if one truly does not remember, and still he had not been to see her. She was insulted.

"I believe you've probably seen Bion more recently than I have," was her reply, condensing all of those feelings into one simple sentence. She could see him searching her eyes, seeing the emotion she so rarely showed, and she allowed herself to show a little more. Her voice revealed nothing but her eyes spoke of her maternal pain, if only for a second. It passed. "Tammer... I was so happy when she returned. I had to tell her about her father, of course, but that was some time ago now. Saki and Razanur I have seen around. So I believe my pups are all doing well."

She then sat, glancing momentarily at the ground to ensure that she would not be dirtying her white pelt. Her eyes wandered about the Heathlands, nonchalantly looking for danger or packmembers as was only natural. They then returned to Justyn, as they always did.

[[Midnight]]

Justyn's eyes never left her face as she spoke. Something about her seemed so bitter. At first he thought he was imagining it, but when her eyes flashed with a moment's worth of pain, related to Bion's name for whatever reason, he understood that she was not feeling as peaceful inside as he was. Suddenly he felt as though he could feel her emotions coming off in waves, anxieties that were making her feel down-hearted, and so his mood began to plummet, too. He wanted to reach out and comfort her somehow, and question what had happened between her and her son, but somehow he felt the moment was not appropriate to bring up that subject. As she continued on about all of her pups, listing their names and discussing their most recent involvements with her, he noticed something was missing in her reponse. Well, there were several things a little off about the conversation, but a couple things really stuck out to him.

She seemed so lifeless in her responses. The old contentment at havings pups again in her life didn't seem to be putting those sparks of life into her eyes - and here he thought they were her newest lifelines, her reasons for existing, another way for her to distract herself from the suffocating clutches of her father. Maybe they still were, and it was just something else making her...so sad looking. He felt sad now, too, staring back into her gaze with a melencholy feeling.

"You skipped my other question," he said quietly, passing over the topic of the pups to bring the conversation back to her. His ears perked up expectantly as he continued, "What about you? How is Rose doing?"

He hoped she wouldn't try and give him some vague answer. She hopefully knew him well enough by now to know that he'd pursue - when she was letting him see little tidbits of her deepest worries, she was inviting him to chase the bait, which Justyn always inedibaly did.

[Paint]

Rose watched Justyn's expression change. She spent such a time analysing him, she realised the way she was to him. She could hear herself, still so cold, so distant, even now. Even with him. A light frown appeared on her features as she realised, but a smile followed.

"Come now, Justyn. Don't let my melancholy infect you so."

She tipped her ears back and sighed lightly, but the humour was clear enough in her voice. The things that were pressing on her mind could not be fixed now, she knew that, so she would put them aside until the time came.

"I am fine, really. Good health, happy pups, you know," she replied, but her tone was not so dismissive now. She was thawing. As the thought occurred to her, she smiled a little at a long lost memory. "Do you remember calling me the Ice Princess?"

It was a rhetorical question, though. She knew that he remembered. So she tried again to answer his question, without mentioning the real problem; her father.

"I am worried about the changes that are coming," she sighed, but shrugged. Her actions were only subtle, quiet, but at least they were there now. She was no longer a murmuring sculpture.

[[Midnight]]

Justyn let his relief show quite evidently as his tense shoulders relaxed. He felt as though he'd been holding his breath, too, and let a small sigh escape his stocky muzzle. As was usual, she kept her real thoughts to herself, that much he could tell. But the two of them had promised not to hide from each other, a long time ago, and Justyn, as naive as he ever was, held onto that promise. Rose could work out her own issues, for the most part, and if she felt she needed help, she knew he was always somewhere close behind her.

"Oh, sorry," he was quick to repond with a small smile, though why he was apologizing he wasn't quite sure. He let himself brighten back up again. Rose seemed genuine, so he'd follow her lead. He smiled at her next statements: good health, happy pups. True, what more could they ask for? Than again, Justyn never asked for pups and had no idea what it was like to sire any, though lately the idea was somewhere in the back of his mind.

Her next words made his heart skip a few beats. His smile disappeared, replaced once again with his wistful, thoughful face. He glanced up at the sky, thinking back to those days - as if he could ever forget them! But he tried to catch her hints as best as his slow brain could. He mulled it over and over, silent for a few moments. He could not decipher her exact meaning, but in some ways he understand exactly where she was coming from. Everything was changing again, wasn't it? He'd already noticed. His fire was no longer an uncontrollable blaze, devouring all around him.


"I...think I catch your drift. To a certain degree, Ice Princess" he said, letting himself settle onto his hind paws. His eyes never left her face as he sought for the right words to say. He'd never been a poet or an extradoinary verbalist, but he didn't think Rose expected that from him anyhow.

"I think I've learned by now to anticipate change. I never know if it's going to be good or bad changes, though - I'm usually surprised when they come along." He took a moment to flick a fly from his ear and continued.
"Whatever's on your mind, don't let it scare you too much," he tried to reassure, his eyes unblinking as he spoke. "Because you can always fall into me."

[Paint]

Rose listened carefully, smiling a little when he mentioned her nickname. She considered him, and how he had changed, and at his last words the sadness entered her eyes once again. Her mind wandered back to her father, more and more considering that right at his core he was as evil as they all said. But she disregarded this, because she was brutally loyal.

"I shall try not to, Fire Prince," she smiled once again, tipping her head ever so slightly. Something about his expression when she mentioned pups perked her interest. She wondered if he was considering, this year. Perhaps after this Caden business was all over, Justyn was thinking of settling down... most likely, with Fallon. "I shall try to steal some of your contentedness."

She thought a little longer of what to say and what not to say, and eventually she decided that some part of her had to know. But she would ask very nonchalantly.

"So how is everything, anyway? Have you spoken to any of your family yet? How're things with Fallon?"

[[Midnight]]

This conversation was starting to get him slightly unnerved. It was less of the actual words spoken between the two of them, and more of the body language, her eyes, the mood of the air around them. Justyn had spent every moment of his puphood reading into expressions and the fine lines between, and he knew Rose well enough to understand that she was not feeling happy or secure, for whatever reasons she was not ready to talk about. He wondered if she ever would bring it up sometime, and realized with a pang of jealousy that he had never been like Raiden. He'd never been able to strike up a particular, permanent kind of happiness in someone without really trying. He'd been a close friend and on occaision moral support for Rose, but he was no dark and handsome hero like Raiden had been. Even after death Raiden was always winning against Justyn. What would he have done to take the sadness out of Rose's eyes? Right now, Justyn hadn't a clue.

"You could have it all if only it could be given," he responded with a small, sad smile, forgetting already to take to heart her wish for him not to get so melodramatic. Her brief pause now had his ears perking forward again, his eyes neutral but searching hers. Her next few questions were oddly normal, but the air still felt different. It wasn't like their natural, carefree sides of themselves they'd let go of when they were alone in each other's company. He pondered the questions and considered them carefully before responding.

No, they were normal questions. She always asked about his family and of Fallon, and for what seemed like an entire year, his answers had been the same. Today was no different.

"I've been living. I haven't had any crazy dreams lately about the earth falling to pieces. I've been spending a lot of time hunting with some of the pups, because they like my company. You'll be ashamed to hear though that I have not seen my sister or any other family since that one terrible day. After what's happened with Caden..." he trailed off, his eyes dropping to her paws. She'd be able to finish that thought herself. Now that they'd kidnapped Caden, his old family ties had been severed. His loyalty remained to Falling Moon, not to the Stars. He was sure that Esmerelda was off somewhere, brooding on her hatred for Justyn. She probably thought how he was just like Caerwyn. It was his turn to show freely to Rose, through his eyes, how hard the whole situation had been for him to deal with. But he wasn't about to dwell on it. He'd learned recently how easier it was to let it go. The easiest thing to do would be to not think about it and let time pass....he'd get over it. He had Rose and Fallon, Saki and Razanur, that was family enough for him.

"Fallon and I haven't spent a lot of time together lately. We go our seperate ways, and occaisionally we meet back up at the den to ask each other how our days went."
His nose twitched as he again was unable to meet Rose's eyes, seaching instead the grass below his paws as he thought about Fallon and the recent happenings in their history.

"I almost got into another fight with her. Her paw was injured when she fought with Caden, and she told me how scared she was that the pack would turn on her and she would die alone. She would kill you right now if she knew I'd told you all this..." He scratched a claw across the ground, sending pieces of grass flailing about. "It made me angry to think she was always so willing to help this pack when she gained nothing in return. Nothing but the possibility of being turned away by her own packmates. She risked her life to get to Caden...for what?"

He posed the question hypothetically, but his eyes searched hers. She always had the right words to say when he most needed to hear them. Even if the truth hurt, it was good to hear it put into a different perspective. He didn't expect Rose to comment on it, though, so continued, "I realized then how different the two of us were. Our loyalties are in completely different places. Still, I apologized. I reacted in anger, I think, mostly because I was scared at the idea of her being permanently injured."

He smiled at the thought of Fallon, though. He imagined, despite their opposing viewpoints, that he'd have been exactly like her if he'd been born into Falling Moon instead of to the Stars. They were so much alike sometimes that he felt even more strongly about their difficulties in getting along. They had managed to fix up every rough patch so far and stay close friends, but he knew their relationship would always remain strained.

"Basically, I still suck at keeping friendships," he finished with a quiet, dismissing chuckle. "Though I manage."

[Paint]

Through all of this, Rose watched and saw Justyn's mood rise and fall before her with each unravelling of his story. Like it or not, what her father had said to her had struck her to the core and every word that slipped between Justyn's lips only made his words stronger. Whether she liked it or not, her perception of Justyn was changing. He could sense it, too. Without even putting on an act she could feel herself pulling away, becoming colder. So much of her was screaming out to tell him everything but she no longer felt that she could.

"It's funny, really," she began slowly at first. Then when the words began to form in her head she considered whether she should say them or not. Rose had nerves of steel but she had never been one for hurting those that she loved. "Your loyalties... you and Fallon, I mean. So different. Hers, to the pack, wholeheartedly, and yours to... who? Me? The new pups? Fallon, maybe?"

She frowned.

"How is it, Justyn, that you are the second highest ranking wolf in this pack, when you don't actually seem to care for the pack as a whole? Doesn't Fallon fit the part more, wouldn't you say? And if she so wanted and deserved that position, why is it that you haven't even had the guts to walk up to my father and ask him to grant it to her?"

If Rose had not been born and raised a Falling Moons wolf she would have thought it weakness to move, even to blink, while speaking. But she knew that he would be far more unnerved if she simply remained the same. No tension in her back, no raise of a lip and a slow, sultry blink between each well placed word. But Rose was not acting. Not this time. She was finally being what she suspected a friend should be all along; honest.

[[Midnight]]

Was it possible for a living creature to be fully aware of that moment when invisible strings are cut in half; the kind of strings that tied someone up on the inside? If Justyn truly had moments of insanity in his life, he'd not been fully aware of his snapping strings in the moment they'd been cut. Right then and there, however, as his ears perked to catch all of Rose's questions, his hazel eyes squinting with discomfort the more she spoke, Justyn felt his heartstrings threatening to snap. There was a sudden weight on his chest that made it hard for him to breath.

Right about the moment Rose had frowned, Justyn had frowned, too. It gave him deep lines of worry that wrinkled and shadowed his dark face. She had caught him completely off guard, and never, not once, had anything she'd said been so gut-wrenching. Not even their first fight, the one that had turned foe into friend, had him feeling like this.

Well, there went his inner peace.

For a moment all he could do was raise a lip in an uncomfortable snarl; not one of agression, but simply a snarl of absolute anxiety. Rose didn't get her reputation for nothing; everything she'd just called him out on both cut him to the core and forced him to be honest with himself. He felt all of his insecurities bleeding out into the open, for Rose to pick and stare at. Until now, they'd all been bugging at him subconciously; he had not ever considered why he couldn't bring himself to ask Duke about Fallon. He guessed that it was a mixture of several things: the foremost reason being that he didn't think Fallon would take kindly to becoming Beta because he'd gotten it for her.

Hurt was evident on Justyn's face as he looked into her eyes again. His legs trembled, just very slightly, and it was possibly due to his rising anger - or because he felt his heart was ready to break. For a moment, he saw Rose again, not as a friend, but as an enemy he'd so easily let into his heart. She had the power to break him completely, and right now, it felt like this was where it was leading up to. Once again, it was her eyes, her tone of voice, though certainly her words too that really had him feeling sick.

"Stop it," he muttered, almost breathlessly as his tail drooped down to the grass. His eyes twitched momentarily as he changed from his happy go lucky persona to someone ready to resign themself to despair. "Don't call me out like this; as if you despise me. I don't think I could take it knowing that you did."

How odd; why was his reaction so passionate? And yet, why was Rose being so cold? Was she simply trying to test his loyalties? Foolish Rose; she knew him better than this!
The thought brought his inner flames back to life; anger brightened up his eyes, making his face hard and his expression much more intense.

"I thought we made it clear to one another a very long time ago that we would always be there for each other."

His eyes narrowed as he thought back to that conversation, the one he could practically recite from memory simply because it had both comforted him and tortured him ever since. Rose had changed him that day; if she didn't like where her changes had brought him, then... He took in a deep breath, exhaling slowly as he squeezed his eyes shut. Was Rose acting, playing a part? Or was he just overreacting to all of this as usual?
She just felt so far away...unreachable. It was the first time he'd ever gotten that vibe from her. This was just his desperate attempt to reach out to her.

"Where are my loyalties, you ask? What about you, Rose? Where are yours? Are you asking me to step down as Beta?"
By now his voice had risen an octave or two. But his next sentence, after a brief pause, was spoken just barely in an audible voice.
"...Because if you are, then I gladly would. I've felt out of place as Beta for a while now, anyway. I do my duties and I would defend this pack if I had to. If all of Dancing Stars came at us right now, I'd rip out all of their throats! But, still..."

A growl had risen from his chest as if a battle was indeed unfolding right before his eyes. But he quickly stifled it, giving his head a quick shake that sent loose fur into the breeze to drift away.
"I would only do it to protect you. Hell, everything I do is for you! When I lay down to sleep, I think of you and wonder if you're feeling lonely without Raiden; do you get cold at night, sleeping alone? Or do you spend your nights with your father, keeping him company because he's too weak to handle being alone? Remember, Rose, how you told me that once? That sometimes you feel like you are suffocating because he loves you so much?"

He took a step forward, his ears pinned back, but a desperate look came to his glassy eyes, full of both passionate emotion and desperate confusion.

"Don't do this to me, too. Don't let me in and after all of this, start pushing me out. I'm already like your father in that way. Now that you've let me in, there's no option for leaving. My loyalties have lay with you this entire time; damn you for not knowing that! Damn you if my love has always been one-sided!"

Out of breath, passion simmering down after a pause, he panted and stood looking bewhildered. He didn't expect so much to come spilling out, but it had. Now all of his deepest feelings were on the table. All because she'd forced him to accept that he was treading on thin ice, while his see-saw was threatening to careen down roads he didn't want to go. Had this even been her purpose, her point? His face was watching her emotionlessly, waiting to see or heart any sort of reaction. He felt that the rest of his life would now be decided by her response. His heart felt heavy.

[Paint]

If Rose could rely upon anything, it would be Justyn reacting in this way. But she knew that this was not even close to an overreaction. She deserved all of these waves of passion and anger emanating from him, his words cutting into her. For now though, she only had to watch, to take it in, to measure his reaction against her cold words. She took a quiet, deep breath as she saw the emotions within him rattle and change.

"This is my loyalty, Justyn," she finally spoke, not expressionless but with such intensity she could not smile or frown in any way. Just look at him. "I'm afraid that when we made that deal, I made the deal that I would be brutally honest with you. This is it. I am calling you out not because I despise you, but because I love you too."

She wasn't sure what she meant by that 'I love you too'. It could mean so many things, but to her, at this moment, it meant it in its most simple terms. She did love him. He was her closest friend, her most loyal ally. Beyond that she'd never allowed herself to consider, mostly because of the niggling thought of Fallon in the back of her mind. But she did have to wonder where all of this extra tension was coming from.

"I'm not asking you to step down. I'm asking you to step up," she finally shook her head and stepped away, taking a frustrated breath and looking away. Step up. She wanted him to take full responsibility for his position in the pack, his relationship with Fallon, his family, even his demons deep down. She looked back with all of this written on her face.

"I have been there for you this entire time, Justyn. A keen listener, trying to gently push you in the right direction, or make you consider other options. You are no longer just careening through life like a hot headed pup, but you seem to be severely lacking in courage. I have had enough of being quiet. This is me finally owning up to my part in all of this- I should have said these things to you long ago. Any good friend should be able to stand up to their friends."

Especially, thought Rose, Now that everything has changed.

[[Midnight]]

That was it? He screams everything out at her, and she still replies with her cool stiffness? Well, it hit home, as usual. Justyn felt all of his tense muscles relax as he exhaled, not even having realized he'd been holding his breath throughout her speech. Though her words were the complete opposite of everything he'd expected to hear - even though they could almost be considered positive things - he felt his heart breaking. He could've cried right then and there, whether from relief or pain, he just could not pinpoint right then due to his upset.

"Courage?" he spat out, as if the word were poison. Had he really been a coward this entire time? What did she expect from him? Was she asking him to prance up to Duke and blow him kisses? Was she asking him to aim for power, maybe even her father's position? ...Or was it so much simpler than that? Justyn always had put a little too much thought into things. Sometimes going with the flow was far easier, but unfortunately it was highly unlikely he'd ever change that thoughtful, daydreaming habit of his.

He looked into Rose's dark eyes, still feeling hurt. He was also comforted, though, by the fact that she was wearing her emotions again. It was good to know that he still had a tight grip on her heart, too; if he squeezed it, she'd flinch.

"Is that really what you think of me as? A coward? Just another thing we'd established a long time ago," he responded sarcastically, rolling his eyes and looking away from her for a moment.

"I'm sorry Rose if I'm not the tall dark and handsome wolf of your dreams. I can't waltz around the pack all noble-like and magically be the kind of perfect Beta you want me to be," he continued on, the hurt in his voice evident. All of this was so confusing; what else was there for him to do, really? What kind of Beta was she looking for? Was this really only about him not 'stepping up' as the pack's Beta? As he looked back into her eyes and thought of how this conversation had led up to this point, he knew for sure now. This was not Rose; not the Rose he was used to. There had to be a reason she was lifting his security blanket from his eyes. So, what was it, then?

"Rose. Stop hiding from me. I'm not the only one who's being a coward," he said suddenly, taking a step closer to regain the space she'd put between them. He tried to read what was clearly written in her face - why did he have to be so bad at that?

He remembered, though, that he read hearts, not minds. He'd always felt he could read Rose on the inside. By now he'd become used to her emotionless exterior, so he had practice digging around under her facade.

"Why are you doing this to me?" he asked quietly, his voice low and begging, all traces of anger gone. "What's the real reason for all of this?"

Somehow, his gut instinct was saying that she had not decided to call him out simply on the whim that she'd woken up and decided to be a better friend, as she put it. He felt that all she was doing was toying with his insecurities. It was going to take far more than a lecture and a half-hearted 'I love you' for him to become something else. That's why he knew she was holding something back.

"Just stay brutally honest with me. This coward can take it. Is this really just about Fallon and loyalties?"

[Paint]

"I do not think you are a coward. I did not say that."

Finally a little anger entered her voice. For some reason she'd expected Justyn to back down to her, not get defensive. She frowned at him, black lips tightening against his own words. But she listened carefully, raising a brow in surprise at his comment about not being the wolf of her dreams.

"Excuse me? I've never required you to be the wolf of my dreams. There's no such thing. Don't be so childish," she growled a little. "Is a little nobility so much to ask? Take pride in your work. You and my father are worlds apart in this pack, if it continues in that way then the whole thing will fall apart. When is the last time you spoke to him, strategised with him? Talked about Caden or the Stars? What exactly do you do as Beta of this pack?"

Although her questions seemed harsh, Rose was not being spiteful. She felt a little desperation in this attempt, in her words, as she tried to make Justyn see what she saw. She wanted him to consider himself. But at his last words, that begging tone, she stopped. The anger left her voice as well but a little of the ice returned.

"If we go to war then my father will not survive it. He's too old."

She paused.

"He knows this. He told me that I should... he wanted some of his own blood to run the pack. My siblings are gone, my half-siblings are too young. He told me to use you. He wanted me to seduce you into being my mate so that we could take over the pack together if- no, when. When he dies."

By now the icyness was back but the hurt in her eyes was clear enough. Her body remained frozen but her eyes reached out to Justyn with a lifetime of servitude.

"I did not want to emotionally manipulate you. That is why I have become brutally honest with you, so that I did not have to play you, and control you, to get my way."