Myu/Duke;; You know that it means so much

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And you don't seem to understand
A shame you seemed an honest man
And all the fears you hold so dear
Will turn to whisper in your ear
And you know what they say might hurt you
And you know that it means so much
And you don't even feel a thing

Duke was angry. Really, really angry. All fired up from his near-fight with Justyn, he'd thrown himself into mountain climbing- one of those rare blissful times that Duke found himself completely able to think. The higher he climbed, the thinner the air became, the easier he worked things out in his mind. He was still angry, but he was focused, and all the way up here he could really break down and not feel guilty for looking weak.

I am falling, I am fading,
I have lost it all

So he sunk into one of the deepest depressions he'd been in since they arrived at the valley. It was like a deep suction of his mind, pulling it in on itself. Up here, when everything was so thin and the views were so spectacular, nothing could distract Duke. He could hand-pick each memory as he went, each step brought with it a fresh wave of pain.

And you don't seem the lying kind
A shame then I can read your mind
And all the things that I read there
Candle lit smile that we both share
And you know I don't mean to hurt you
But you know that it means so much
And you don't even feel a thing

Duke didn't lie, not often anyway. But he did hide things, like any wolf, he hid how much he truly ripped himself apart inside. All there was in life for Duke was protecting his family, his pack and his lands. He knew he could not stop an earthquake, but something in him told him that he could've done something. He could've dragged Anevay or his other pups, or his grandpups out of ther way at the last second- thrown a boulder out of the way. What else was he useful for, if he couldn't use his muscle to protect what was his?

I am falling, I am fading, I am drowning,
Help me to breathe
I am hurting, I have lost it all
I am losing
Help me to breathe

Rose and Tallulah were as happy as they could be, and Duke knew that. The rest of the pack to consider... like Myu. There was another problem twisting a knot in Duke's stomach. Anevay's memory brought such painful stabbings into his heart he felt it might stop at the thought of her, but when he thought of Myu he felt as if something healed a little inside him. Anevay stabbed his heart to bits, Myu repaired it. It wasn't difficult to comprehend. He collapsed, finally, into a lying position and stared out over the lands, realising only now that it would be pitch black if the moon and stars were not illuminating everything around him.

I am falling, I am fading, I am drowning,
Help me to breathe
I am hurting, I have lost it all
I am losing,
Help me to breathe

[arbie]

It was odd. Sometimes she felt like she should feel something, and at others she felt like she should just forget it. That’s what she usually did, forget everything bad that happened in the past. There was no reason to mourn for the past, she hadn’t lost anyone important(by accident, at least). Rhyfel was in the past. All the wolves that thought she was their friend were in the past. They were dead or just travelling somewhere else. Myu knew it wasn’t worth thinking about them, it was a waste of energy and the little emotions she had left. All those emotions were really there for certain wolves, so they should feel lucky. It kind of sucked they didn’t know it, though. And like hell she was going to tell them, that would be embarrassing. One had found out once before, but she didn’t know if he remembered… Maybe he didn’t actually find out. She hoped so.

Bah, she was thinking about things too hard. Sometimes she didn’t want to think about Duke at all. As much as she liked him, the way he thought annoyed her a lot. He did have his good points, but Myu couldn’t help but think of the bad parts as well. He really didn’t need to intimidate everyone to stay on top, he was doing perfectly fine. Who cares about Justyn? If Justyn actually makes his move, then Duke should care. She wouldn’t go back on her opinion just for him if they talked about it, which she highly doubted. Myu would be a bit hesitant to even mention the beta’s name if she was out alone with the wolf. Duke was also rather… Stupid. It was the only word she could think of that could fit. She did believe he was a good Alpha, it was just… Needing Rose around all the time? Needing Rose to make the intelligent decisions? It wasn’t like Rose was the neck and Duke was the head, it was like Rose was the mouth and Duke was the teeth. Rose said it all, and Duke bit it all. Myu probably didn’t know how the two worked, though. She just guessed it was like that.

Huffing as she made her way along the mountain, in the dark no less, Myu finally paused. She looked upwards, wondering how far she was actually planning on going. She might as well climb this thing, s’not like it wasn’t very hard. She could climb the one in the old lands. This mountain couldn’t be too different, right? Right. She snorted and, looking determined, continued upwards. It was a bit more difficult for her, though… She was built for speed, not climbing. Well, no wolf was really built for climbing, but she knew what she meant. Well, she was actually. Climbing needed muscles, and to run fast she needed to have good muscles in the legs. She had that. But she didn’t have that good sense of balance you needed to climb. Sure, she could stand on her own four feet easily, but climbing was a different story. She just found it difficult, but Myu refused to give up. Just like she refused to give up on him.

Oh gosh, dang it, damn and dash. She was thinking about him again. She really needed to stop linking every day thoughts to him. She was disappointed in herself, and it didn’t help when she caught his scent pretty close. Myu glanced round. She was lucky he had a bit of white on his fur, or else she probably would have stood on him. Catching her breath, Myu slowly walked over to him, wondering if Duke was even awake. She sat down next to him, looking down at him, then at the lands.
“Fancy seeing you here.”

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Duke was happily sinking deep into his depression (s'cusing the contradiction in that sentence) when he heard the sound of an approach. It was soft paws, pushing a wolf, climbing up the mountain. Climbing after him, or just climbing for the hell of it?

Irritably, Duke waited until the wolf came into sight. When the moonlight illuminated Myu's form, Duke was a little startled. Then again, they had often met like this, quite some time ago. During those few strange months between him joining Shaye's pack, and eventually ruling it and really taking Anevay as his mate. He remembered the times they'd conversed in the moonlight.

He didn't know what to say now. Having been happy to vent his anger with his muscles before, throwing himself perilously up the mountainside, he could see there was none of that anger on Myu's expression. She looked like she was thinking hard about something, and in a way she normally was. Duke was not concerned about her.

He wondered whether to cough, after all she was just about to collide with him, when she seemed to notice him. A moment later, he heard the words flow from her mouth and he was left puzzled. All his anger was still there, but he was surpressing it, something he wasn't used to.

He cleared his throat, realising he had to speak.
"I decided to go for a hike," he said casually. He watched her as she sat down and looked out over the lands. Stupid time to go for a climb, really, you couldn't see anything. Still, he was going to wait until morning and the sun to rise over the valley. He liked that.

"What're you doing up here?" he asked curiously, actually managing to make it sound like a genuine question. There was not even a hint of anger in it. He wondered if he was losing his touch, but dismissed the thought immediately. Please, he thought.

[arbie]

She refused to look at Duke. If she did, she’d probably melt and burst into a fit of uncharacteristic giggles. She couldn’t believe she was sitting calmly this close to him, even if it was just a friendly distance away. She gazed at the land which was lit up by the moon and stars. It was quite a pretty sight, not the most marvellous and eye catching, but it was pretty. Slowly she looked at Duke, surprised she wasn’t grinning at him. Even if she disliked part of him, she couldn’t help but want to cuddle up next to him. God, her soft side had been kept hidden for way too long. It was a shame it’s coming out now. Now of all times, not Winter when it was almost Spring, not even Spring, but now. Summer. So she just had to hide the little soft side and keep it close to her heart in case she lost it. And I’ll have you know it’s very hard to lose that feeling.

A casual hike? Myu smirked at the answer. Was he being serious, or was it a little attempt at trying to gather himself up again? She wouldn’t be surprised, but at the same time she would. He was Duke, wasn’t he? The one that wanted everyone to fear him. Myu wondered how it was possible to take someone that was able to say ‘I decided to go for a hike’ with a straight face in the middle of the night seriously. She gave him a look that said ‘okay, I’ll go along with it’ and looked back at the landscape. It was a bit patronising, but that’s just how she was. She then wondered how she would answer it. Myu wouldn’t say she couldn’t sleep, it was overused and it wasn’t necessarily true considering she didn’t try to sleep. Could she joke with him and answer that she wanted to go for a walk? … Nah. She did that a bit too often.
“Well, to be honest… I don’t really have a reason.” she said, letting the words roll off her tongue without really thinking before speaking, “I just came up here because I thought I could be different! Because I thought I could be a rebel and go against the norm. Go against going to bed nice and early before the sun even sets.”

She paused, noticing that she was probably just ranting. Wolves that thought they were cool and rebellious because they did something different were stupid. They wouldn’t be cool and rebellious, because someone else would join them, then they wouldn’t be different. There was no way someone could be totally unique and original. Someone shared your personality trait somewhere, someone shared your eye colour, someone shared your fur colour, someone shared something with you. Even if you don’t know them. She also didn’t like going to the cave early when things could be done.
Sighing a bit, she looked at Duke, frowning.
“I think I also came to calm down.” she said, as if she was joking.
I think she was!

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Duke watched her, and the tensed muscles in her neck as if she were trying to refrain from something. It was all he could do to stare, and watch the black lines of her lips as she looked at him and looked away, and spoke.

He frowned, trying to catch up with her words. Why was this so complicated? She'd always been very complicated, and had always complicated things for him at any rate. He knew he'd had no right to, but he'd been bitterly jealous of Rhyfel right up until the poor sop died.

"You're babbling," Duke pointed out, unable to make his tone uninterested. He was still watching her, he realised, so he turned his attention to the landscape again. He was aching, part of him wanted to shift and lay closer to her. Would she think that was strange? Was he imagining the electricity right now? He swallowed hard. "But it's okay. What would you have to calm down about?"

[arbie]

Yes. She was babbling. Of course she was, that was one thing Duke made her do! She had to say things to stop her from embarrassing herself, and while doing that she did what she didn’t want to do. But his tone didn’t seem patronising or amused at Myu, it sounded like he was just pointing something out logically. She nodded a bit to agree with him, forcing a smirk at herself. She refused to make herself look even more stupid in front of Duke. Not because he was her Alpha, but because he was a friend. When they were alone, Myu felt like she could act a bit more natural around him and voice her opinions without sugar coating them.

She didn’t actually notice that he had stared at her for a while. She was trying too hard to stare at him to notice anything, really. It was okay? She was a bit surprised. Duke wasn’t usually like this around her, but she was quite pleased. If he acted like this around her, she felt a little accepted by him, and that was very important to her, even if she didn’t want to admit it. Her mind then kind of crashed when he asked what she needed to calm down about. Obviously he didn’t get the joke, but she’ll just continue to play along and quickly thought of a reason to calm down.
“Oh, it’s just the loners and Dancing Stars… Well, new Dancing Stars.” she corrected herself.

She looked at him, pausing.
“Why do you want to hike at this time?” she asked, changing the subject from herself to him.

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He frowned when she mentioned new Stars wolves. But it was not a frown of concern, or irritation, mere confusion. Did she honestly see them as a threat? Duke was incredibly confident that Xaka's death had torn them down enough- having half the original pack wiped out would drive them mad with grief. And then Duke would strike, and drive them out. This valley would be his, and his pack's, so soon.

Before he could speak all of this aloud, however, she'd changed the subject. He was silent a moment, trying to remember what she'd said. Having played it back over in his head, he cleared his throat, feeling awkward. Usually his talking wasn't talking at all- it was grunting or snarling. Myu seemed to bring this strange calm persona over him. Strange, alien even.

"I was angry," he replied, as if surprised he had to explain that one. "Sometimes it's easier to just exhaust yourself climbing a mountain- if I'd ripped Justyn's head off, Rose would have been upset," he mused aloud, in a matter-of-fact tone.

He frowned, looking out over the summer night.
"Strange we both chose to come up here," he continued to think aloud- although not every thought. He would not re-iterate his feelings for her, it was too messed up at the moment. He didn't want to scare her off, at any rate.

[arbie]

Duke being angry wasn’t a first. Neither was it that it was at Justyn, Myu had been waiting for the day the Dancing Star pup became a hindrance to Duke. She wondered what the pack would be like if Duke did take the pup’s head off. Rose would probably break all ‘business’ ties with him, and then what would Duke do? He couldn’t rely on Tallulah, he couldn’t rely on almost anything. Myu was there for him. She liked to think like that, but wondered if he actually thought like that. Did he knew she would be there for him no matter what? Eh, probably not.

Strange? She wondered if it was. Myu wondered if she had actually caught his scent and followed it subconsciously, while thinking that she was just coming here and found him without meaning too. Accidentally. Yes, that had to be it. She refused to believe the fact she was pathetic enough to actually follow Duke’s scent and get his attention when they were alone. Although it was a nice thought.

She thought about Justyn again. Usually she wasn’t so curious, but tension between an alpha and beta was always interesting to hear about.
“So what exactly happened between you and the pup to make you want to rip his head off?” she asked. She had always called Justyn ‘the pup’ because it was amusing, and Duke had found him as a pup. She was actually quite surprised by how many pups had joined their travels, even though she could only remember two. Blue and Justyn. Myu was surprised, if not a bit angry, that a wolf like Justyn got the Beta position. The saying ‘keep your friends close, but your enemies closer’ came to mind.

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Duke shuddered angrily, like remembering the argument actually made his muscles quiver and lurch towards the idea of a fight. The insolent bastard thought he could just bide his time until he thought he was strong enough to take Duke down? Never, Duke snarled internally and flexed his muscles, proving to himself they were still there.

He was still strong.

"He was harping on about wanting to take over the pack, about fighting me and defeating me," he looked up at Myu intensely, wishing he could thread this much passion into the rest of their conversation. The tone of his voice suddenly made everything seem so much more intimate.

"Like I'd ever give anything up to him like that," he snarled, still staring Myu right in her dark off-blue eyes. His voice slowly wound down, and he took a deep breath.

"No," he said vaguely, still watching her intently. He was beginning to wonder why his intense bursts of anger never scared her. She never even seemed to flinch when he snarled or yelled, it was like she just accepted him that way. It was a nice thought, even if he didn't think it was true.

[arbie]

She snorted when he explained. How could Justyn think like that? That was almost impossible! The only way anyone could take over Duke was if he died of old age. No one was immortal, even Duke. No matter how much she wanted to think it, he can’t live forever. She rolled her eyes, as if Justyn was right there saying it.
“He can’t do that.” she said harshly, “Not just because you wouldn’t allow it, but because it’s just impossible. If Xaka and Shaye couldn’t defeat you, what makes Justyn think he can?”
It was a ridiculous idea, and Myu had said all that in a lover’s sense. It just didn’t sound like it. Myu wasn’t really used to sounding passionate, so, instead, she just sounded angry, and it was more of a friendly tone if anything.

She hesitated. If he wouldn’t give that to him, would he give him something else? Myu thought about it, but didn’t say anything. She frowned at the idea of Justyn and Duke fighting. She was sure Duke would win, but… Well, Justyn was related to Caerwyn. What if that illness carried down to his children? What if Justyn suddenly turned mad while fighting with Duke? That would be horrible. She didn’t think about it any longer. She was happy he was a bit calmer, though. She wasn’t frightened by his outbursts, how could she when she did that as well? Besides, it was Duke. Somehow that made it seem like a good reason to her.

“You shouldn’t get so angry about it. He won’t win if you ever do fight.”

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It was funny, a part of Duke had always liked Myu, but he'd never actually realised how compatible they were. They were both really... well, angry. It seemed like sometimes it was the easiest way to express himself, and it seemed Myu agreed.

It felt so nice to be alone with her, but Duke felt so bad as well. Anevay was preying on his mind, and he was finding it hard to get her out. When was the right and acceptable time to 'move on'? How would he know? He sighed, anger leaking away to sad frustration.

"I'm not worried about losing a fight, I'm worried about why he thinks he could win," Duke grumbled, changing the subject before he started confessing his feelings for Myu. She'd probably be horrified, he was in no way Prince Charming. "Stupid insolent pup. He'll learn," Duke growled, as if threatening the air around them.

Suddenly he looked up at her again, frowning. He couldn't work her out- he could never work her out.

"Myu, why did you come back to Moons after Rhyfel died?" he asked quietly. He was so desparate to know if it was something to do with him, he felt so stupid. Of course it wasn't. A fae so intelligent and powerful as Myu would never be dependant on a meathead like Duke, surely?

[arbie]

They were meant for each other. Myu liked to think it was like that. They were both very similar in her mind, fierce, didn’t take crap, violent. She could continue, but then she wouldn’t be listening to him. Her ears flicked as she listened to him, musing silently. Then she decided to speak.
“Perhaps it’s because ‘royalty’ runs through his veins.” it was a simple guess, but it might explain so much if they thought the same way. If Justyn knew his parents were Alphas, which he did, he’d probably think he was worth an alpha fight. Maybe to defend his honour. It could have been a plot since he was first taken in by Duke.
“Or he might just be a moron.”

Myu looked more alert at the question. Why? Well. Because she didn’t want to be alone. Because she liked company. She wanted it. She wanted Duke’s company, to be precise. But she couldn’t admit that, not now. She hesitated, attempting to gather herself so she could speak without fumbling.
“Well, I… I suppose I came back because…”
Oh, way to go.
“I came back because there was nothing left for me in No Man’s Land… While there was something in Falling Moon.”
If it wasn’t for her fur, Duke would be able to see her skin burn. She was talking about the wolf in front of her, but he wouldn’t be able to tell, surely?

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Duke was still, listening to her reply, chuckling when she called Justyn a moron. When she answered his question, he gazed intently at her. A few moments later, and he let out a breath he didn't realise he'd been holding in.

"Oh," he said simply, musing silently. He wasn't the smartest of wolves, but he'd like to think she was hinting at him there. Was she? It was a little too much to take for his small brain. Maybe she meant the feeling of the pack, or something.

Gah, he didn't know!

"Can't imagine being a loner," he wondered aloud. Can't imagine being away from you, he thought sadly.

[arbie]

Oh? Oh? Was that all he could say? Was he really that stupid?! Myu blinked at his reaction, anger flaring inside of her at the fact he was so blind. She was a little offended as well, but, of course, Duke was generally stupid. It didn’t take much to confuse him, but it took everything to tell him one little thing. She never felt anything for the pack apart from a little appreciation for the fact they attempted to converse with her a few times. She frowned, but he had said something so she decided not to go back onto the subject.

“Hm.” she agreed, tempted to just tell him how it was right then and there, but she stopped herself. Myu didn’t like how awkward it suddenly felt.
“I can’t believe I only became one for him.” she mused further, gazing at her paws. “I actually thought he was worth it. Huh.” she smirked at herself, sounding slightly heartless. She glanced at Duke. Was she just saying that to impress him? Was she just saying that to make herself seem all bad-ass? She really hoped not, that would be pathetic. No, she was just telling it like it was. Haha.

"Would you?"] Myu asked suddenly, looking at Duke, "If... someone you loved became a loner and asked you to join them, would you? Would you give up pack life to live a life of solitude with them? Just to have them die." she added bitterly, as if she blamed Rhyfel for his own death.

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Duke frowned as he thought, a common occurrence when he was musing. Become a loner because a mate wanted him to? It made him think of Kai and his mate, how Kai had left the pack. But that was different. Kai wasn't the Alpha, the pack wasn't his.

If Duke left, who would run the pack? Justyn? Ha! Rose, maybe. But she wasn't strong enough in teeth and claw. She was very, very clever of course, but being an Alpha also required physical presence. Especially in the Moons- the pack had to fear him or respect him. Perhaps a healthy mix of both.

"No," he answered simply. He decided to explain, because she'd probably ask why. "Especially now, when I am the Alpha again. Whoever she was... she could just join the pack, where I could keep her safe. If she decided to go away, I couldn't leave." he paused and glanced at Myu again. "It would make me very, very sad though."

Somehow, those last eight words made Duke sound incredibly vulnerable. He didn't like it, but was this the only way? If he just suggested to Myu that he wasn't so horribly despicable, perhaps she would see him as he saw her? He didn't know.